RESTAURANT REVIEW : Dreams of the Country at West Hollywood Bait Shop

A couple of years ago, I visited Alabama with high hopes for finding good Southern barbecue and country ham. A friend and I asked everyone we met where to eat these specialties. We were directed to a backwoods hideaway “ ‘bout 10 miles to the lake turnoff, then another six, seven miles, just past the power station, little spur to your right . . . etc.” We drove in and out of fields and woods, through a town with ruined mansions, past general stores and homesteads. We drove until there was nothing but kudzu and the two-lane blacktop dipping like a sea serpent before us and behind us.

Amazingly, with only one backtrack, we found the place, an ugly brown stucco building in a red mud parking lot. Inside were wobbly tables and chairs with ripped vinyl cushions. Half the letters had fallen off the menu mounted behind a grimy refrigerator. On weekends, the place no doubt hopped. That day, a gospel station played on the radio. A large woman struggled to her feet to take our order. We ordered a chopped barbecue sandwich, a country ham biscuit and tumblers of headache-sweet ice tea.

I’d lived in the South before and some of my most memorable meals emerged from just such surroundings. But the barbecue was dull and not warmed through; cole slaw was bound with Miracle Whip; ham and biscuit both had a bad chemical taste.

Today, one need not noodle around back-roads in the Deep South for such an authentic American dining experience.

Located in the former Fabula site in West Hollywood, the Bait Shop has the great, roomy, low-budget look of a contemporary backwoods country cafe--red-and-white checkered oilcloth on the tables. Drinks come in screw-top jars, coffee in heavy-walled mugs. The decorative theme is fishing: Exterior walls are bumpered in old tires. Inside, pillars are wrapped in rope, black nets garland beams, pilings cluster in the corners. On the wall are ocean maps and fishing rods, and displayed in the glass counter by the register is a colorful collection of plastic wiggly worms.

The menu looks at first to be a sportfishing magazine and opening it, I think I’ve gone to some kind of juke joint/soul food heaven: fried oysters, seafood gumbo, soft-shell crabs, catfish, pan-fried chicken (a house specialty), country ham, beignets.

When the food starts arriving, however, I get that old oh darn feeling: Fried oysters are delicious, but seafood okra gumbo has that muddy fishiness peculiar to boiled catfish--and no okra. Plump sweet shrimp are blackened with their shells on: tasty, but a mess to eat. The only hint of clams in clam fritters is a resilient bounciness.

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Pan-fried chicken is a greasy bust, and soft-shell crabs are in a cornmeal breading so salty it is almost inedible. Deep-fried catfish is also greasy, the fish muddy without any redeeming sweetness. So called “country” ham here is pink, soft, “regular” ham and bears no resemblance to the insanely flavorful meat that put Smithfield, Va., on the map. A few side dishes are good--collards steamed with bacon, and well-spiced black-eyed peas--but most have spent too long in the steam table, and a few are misconceived, like red beans and rice heavily dosed with thyme and baby-sized carrots steeped in honey.

At breakfast, beignets look as if they’ve been made by someone who has never ever seen a beignet: like weird-looking roots, like ginseng. And they’re way too greasy. Battered fried green tomatoes are good with eggs, but biscuits taste as if they’ve been made with sawdust and glue.

So far, the only dish that this fledgling restaurant offers that makes it worth a trip is the upside-down pancake with peaches, apples or blackberries. Go for the blackberry version: Buttery, crusty on the outside, cakey and full of berries within, it’s a knock out.

I could really like this place--the decor’s a hoot, the service is pleasant, the menu reads like a dream-come-true, and prices are gloriously low. All it needs is a good cook.

* The Bait Shop, 7953 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, (213) 654-2295. Open seven days for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Full bar. Major credit cards accepted. Dinner for two, food only, $24-$56.