Tale of 2 Santas : Christmas: St. Nick at Centerpoint Mall is a <i> firme vato</i> --a cool dude. In Thousand Oaks, he’s a crooner.

They call him “Homey Santa”--an affectionate nod to his real-life identity as a homeboy in Oxnard’s La Colonia.

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Or “Santa Pac-Man,” after the childhood nickname he received for being able to pack away food as eagerly as the dot-eating video game character.

Whatever his moniker, Ramon Garcia is holding his own against the skeptics in his first-ever stint as St. Nick at Oxnard’s Centerpoint Mall.

When jaded older kids try to put Garcia down, he starts speaking their slang, and they realize this Santa is all right.

Take the 13-year-old smart-aleck who said he wanted a low-rider with hydraulics and a girlfriend for Christmas. Garcia told him he’d see what he could do about the low-rider, but the teen-ager would have to get “the chick” himself.

“He told me, ‘You’re a firme vato, Santa,’ “--a cool dude, Garcia said.

While Garcia could be the coolest Claus in the west county, the east county has a Singing Santa in Dennis Van Vuren.

Van Vuren, owner of Crazy California Clowns in Simi Valley, gets rave reviews from parents and kids who come to see him at the Janss Mall in Thousand Oaks.

He’s been a professional Santa for 17 years, and his performances for school groups have a tinge of Las Vegas flash.

Recently he treated preschoolers from Horizon Hills School in Thousand Oaks to such a spectacle. Using jingle bells for percussion, he sang “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in grand style, then held the kids spellbound with his dramatic recital of “The Night Before Christmas.”

But even individual visitors can get the Vegas treatment. Van Vuren once crooned “Our First Christmas” so sweetly to a newborn that the child’s grandmother cried.

“Oh, that was a Hallmark moment,” she told him.

In terms of backgrounds, the two Santas are as different as they can be.

One is a 38-year-old entrepreneur-entertainer complete with pager and cellular phone. The other is a 22-year-old youth football coach and former gang member who is new at playing Santa but possesses the heart and heft required for the part.

Van Vuren speaks sign language. He says his most cherished Santa experiences have occurred communicating with disabled kids. For instance, there was the deaf boy who doubted that he was really Santa--until Van Vuren started signing.

“Then he knew I was the real thing,” Van Vuren said.

Garcia, on the other hand, speaks English, Spanish and a bit of Korean. But whatever means they use to communicate, both Santas are fluent in the universal language of love and have become experts at helping kids overcome Santaphobia.

You wouldn’t think anyone would be afraid of a fat, jolly old man wearing a snuggly red suit, but tiny tots can get terrified when it’s their turn to pose for the traditional Santa photo.

Van Vuren’s solution is to let mom hold baby on her hip. He then sneaks up behind them while his photographer-elf carefully frames and snaps a photo with just Santa and child in it.

Thousand Oaks parent Suzanne Duckett said she appreciates the way Van Vuren tries to make sure parents get a good photo. It’s one of the reasons she comes back to see him each year.

Garcia uses another tactic: He will touch the child’s heart. If it’s beating fast, he knows they are scared. He will tickle them and give them candy canes, hugs and smiles to put them at ease for the camera.

The fear other kids have is that Santa is too fat to get down their chimneys to deliver toys. Van Vuren just laughs and tells them, “Like they say, a bowlful of jelly--I just get all squishy and slide right down.”

Besides knowing child psychology and having a sense of humor, mall Santas have to be well-versed in kid culture. They must know the latest children’s movies, TV shows and toys.

The two Santas listed Power Rangers, the new Barbie line, Sega video games, the Elmo doll from “Sesame Street,” “Lion King” items, Baby Check-Up, Baby All Gone and remote-control cars that flip over as the most frequently requested items this season.

Of course, there is always the kid that gets carried away. Van Vuren told of one squirt who pointed to the Toys R Us store conveniently located across from Santa’s station at Janss Mall and demanded “everything in that store.”

In contrast, Garcia spoke sadly of poor children dressed in tatters who just wanted some new clothes.

“I wish I was a real Santa and I could snap my fingers and things would be fine,” he said.

And he felt helpless when a developmentally disabled girl told him, “All I want for Christmas is I want to be smart and I want to get healed from my sickness.”

The list of unfulfilled wishes goes on: A preschool teacher, recently widowed, told Santa she would like a new husband. A little boy asked to see his little sister, who had just died. A little girl wanted her parents to stop fighting. Others ask for baby brothers and sisters or new daddies.

Still others ask for world peace--a gift both Santas said they fervently wished they could give.

Garcia, a former gang member who is now trying to give something back to society, said it’s what he personally wants most for Christmas.

“Peace on Earth and everybody to get along,” he said. “For the gangs to stop the violence. There’s no sense to kill each other for no reason.”

Garcia, who is doing the Santa gig as part of his job as a security officer at Centerpoint Mall, thinks he can make a difference in kids’ lives through activities such as coaching and playing Santa.

Garcia said he has met many kids in La Colonia who feel they don’t have anywhere to turn for positive attention, so they become involved in gangs.

“If I don’t make time for them, I don’t think anybody will,” Garcia said. He added later: “If I were to die the next day, I’d have accomplished something.”

FYI

JANSS MALL: Santa may be seen from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. today through Friday and from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday. Photos cost $6.

* CENTERPOINT MALL: Santa may be seen from 3 to 8 p.m. today through Friday and from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday. Photos cost $5.