THE COLLEGES / IRENE GARCIA : Making a List, but Don’t Hold Your Breath

With Christmas approaching, here are some holiday wishes from local sports figures. Santa Claus may not deliver, but in these cases it surely can’t hurt to ask.

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Dear Santa: My wish may seem simple, but it really isn’t. Basically I just want my team to win at least one game. In four years as head coach here I have a pathetic 11-65 record and this season I thought things would be much better.

My top scorer is back, I had a good recruiting class and I hired two assistants. There was every indication we’d be successful , or at the very least better than last season’s 3-22 team.

But so far , Santa , we’ve been getting kicked around like soccer balls in a playground. We’re 0-8 and it’s not like we’re playing national powerhouse teams. We lost to Weber State by 47, Pepperdine by 28 and Santa Barbara by 44.

Just the other night Santa Clara used us as a punching bag, defeating us, 95-51. We committed 32 turnovers! Heck, just last night we lost, 64-45, at home to Southwest Texas. Please help us. Please deliver some victories, even if they are against teams of young foreign girls.

Love and Merry Christmas,

Kim Chandler, CSUN women’s basketball coach.

Well, Kim, as you said, that may be a tough one to deliver. But keep your hopes up.

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Dear Santa: I too would like to win, but I’ll settle for losing by fewer than 50 points. You see, I was kind of thrown into this job last week when the coach quit abruptly.

Well, the team got hammered, 105-52, by Canyons in my first game.

It was humiliating. Now we’re 1-9 and sinking fast. See what you can do , big guy.

Merry Christmas,

Remy McCarthy, interim coach, Moorpark women’s basketball team.

It might be too late, Remy, but don’t lose all hope. Maybe some teams will feel sympathetic and take it easy on you. Who knows, perhaps some of them may get struck by the holiday spirit.

OK, who’s next?

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Dear Santa: Gotta admit, even as a child I never really believed in you. But I figure this is a good time to start.

I know you had nothing to do with the earthquake earlier this year, but all I want is for things to get back to normal . I want my team to practice in its gym and not at some nearby high school or recreation center. We have a pretty good team, you know.

Last season we reached the final of the state championship tournament, even though that darn earthquake caused havoc and destroyed our facility.

In a nutshell, my only Christmas wish is that our gym be repaired so we can use it again. That’s not too difficult, is it? Please let me know.

Love,

Ken Stanley, Pierce men’s volleyball coach and a new believer.

P.S. Can you also look into getting the tennis courts fixed for my buddy Aris Hovsepian? The earthquake left them in pretty bad shape and his athletes are forced to play on them. Guess school officials figure nothing’s going to fall on them so it’s no big deal.

Sounds pretty bad, Ken. Hope the big fella can deliver. Must be a drag having a homeless team that has to travel just to practice.

And those tennis courts, with large, deep cracks running through them could be quite hazardous. Hope nobody gets hurt.

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Dear Santa: Mine is not a complicated wish. I simply want full recovery for two of my players who were the unfortunate victims of a reckless drunk driver. The guy could have ruined two young, talented athletes’ careers -- not to mention their lives.

Thanks for listening and hope to see Shelby Wilcox and Traci Gallian on the softball field soon.

Janet Sherman, CSUN softball coach.

It’s good to see Janet has her priorities in order.

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Hiya Santa: My team finished with an 8-15 record last season, but we’re so good this year it’s unbelievable. We’re 8-0 and ranked 11th nationally among Division III schools. We have scored more than 100 points in three games, which is incredible in women’s basketball. Hey, we lead the country in offense, averaging 96.2 points a game.

Let me get to the point : I wouldn’t mind winning it all. For sure I’d like to sweep the Southern California Intercollegiate Athletic Conference title and more if possible.

Thanks and have a good one,

Tim La Kose, Cal Lutheran women’s basketball coach.

Kim Chandler probably wishes she was in your situation, Tim. Just take it one game at a time.

It looks like a lot of wishful thinking this season, but hey, that’s what Santa’s for, right?

Happy holidays.