If Only They Would Work for Peanuts

Stan Kasten, president of the Atlanta Braves, told Peter Gammons of the Boston Globe that he isn’t optimistic about strike negotiations.

“This is getting like Charlie Brown and Lucy every Thanksgiving. Every year, she promises she won’t pull the football away when he kicks it. Every year, she does.

“Well, every time we’re convinced to go back to the table, that there will be something, every time I’m like Charlie Brown and wind up on my behind.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the world indoor record for the mile?

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Brrrr: Peter James Spielmann of the Associated Press writes that when a batter in the Antarctic softball league hits a home run, the outfielders don’t even try to to chase the ball.

He explains that the edge of the outfield is riddled with crevasses, adding, “An outfielder pursuing a ball there could easily plunge into the freezing water.

“A man loses consciousness in less than two minutes and is dead in a few more.”

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Smell the roses: C.W. Nevius of the San Francisco Chronicle advises Joe Montana of the Kansas City Chiefs that it’s time to retire:

“Joe, you’re already older than half the NFL stadiums. When you won your first Super Bowl, the Brady Bunch was still a hit the first time. Golf is fun. Tennis is fun.”

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Over the hill: Gorman Thomas, 44, changed his mind about becoming a replacement player for the Milwaukee Brewers.

“There was no way,” he said. “It was inconceivable. I worked out one day, and the next day my girlfriend bought me a cane.”

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That’s no baloney: Gerry Fraley of the Dallas Morning News includes pitcher Rocky Elli of the Boston Red Sox on his All-Strange replacement team:

“Who needs Roger Clemens when you have have a starter who has had a 22-strikeout game? Elli did that in 1993 with the Bologna Green Sox of the Italian Baseball Federation.”

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Hard to do: Famous bowler Don Carter: “One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1962, Wilt Chamberlain scored an NBA-record 100 points as the Philadelphia Warriors defeated the New York Knicks, 169-147, in Hershey, Pa.

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Trivia answer: Eamonn Coghlan of Ireland with a time of 3 minutes 49.78 seconds, set on Feb. 27, 1983 in East Rutherford, N.J.

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Quotebook: Richie Lewis, a minor league pitcher with the Florida Marlins, on being involved with replacement players: “I think they should put red stickers on their foreheads and move them somewhere else.”