THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : It’s Not the Heat in Eastern Race, It’s the Timidity

They don’t make races the way they used to: Here are highlights from last week’s torrid battle for the last playoff spot in the East.

March 24--The Miami Heat takes a 32-point lead at home against the lowly Golden State Warriors and almost blows it. Latrell Sprewell misses a game-winning three-pointer in the closing seconds.

March 25--The Heat leads the New Jersey Nets by 12 in the fourth quarter at home, blows the whole lead this time and loses, 96-95.

March 28--Big night in the race. The Heat blows a 14-point third-quarter lead over the Boston Celtics (yes, still at home) and loses, 126-115.

In New Jersey, meanwhile, the Nets manage to lose to the Warriors and not only that, do it by 14 points. Afterward, blunt, sure-to-be-in-

Toronto-or-Vancouver-next-year Rex Walters rips his Net teammates.

“It’s a joke,” he says. “That’s all it is, a joke. This whole season has been a joke. We haven’t been prepared since Day 1. Cinderella or the Tooth Fairy is not going to sprinkle some magic dust on us when it comes game time.”

Says teammate Jayson Williams, “Mentally, there are a few of us who can play for Bellevue. I don’t think Jesus could coach this team.”

The Warriors are just happy to know there’s another team like them.

“They do a little more bickering on the court than even we do,” Keith Jennings said. “That’s surprising to see. And they’re actually in the playoff hunt.”

March 29--The Detroit Pistons, who flatter themselves by believing they have a shot, are at home against New York. They’re within 94-90 when Grant Hill hits Oliver Miller, open under the basket. Miller goes up to dunk but loses the ball. Hubert Davis makes a three-pointer and the Pistons are history again.

Miller also costs Hill his first triple-double, but who can think of personal records at a time like this?

Detroit Coach Don Chaney, asked if the 320-pound Miller’s layer of blubber presents a problem when he tries to lift off the floor, pinpoints the problem as one of concentration, noting that Miller might have missed if he’d weighed 100 pounds. This is a moot point, since Miller hasn’t weighed 100 since his third birthday.

Going into the weekend, Miami noses into the No. 8 spot, on a 33-49 pace.

What do you say we just have seven East teams in the playoffs and give Orlando a first-round bye?

GETTING INTO SPREE’S HEAD, AND FINDING ???

You remember the Warriors’ Sprewell? First team all-NBA last season, second team all-defense? Went into a sulk when Billy Owens and Chris Webber were traded and helped chase Don Nelson out of town?

It would be nice to report that under Mr. Nice Guy, Bob Lanier, Sprewell has gone back to playing basketball. It would also be incorrect.

An exasperated Lanier has tried interesting him in personal goals, such as postseason awards, but the sleeping prince is still snoring. On the Warriors’ recent Eastern swing, Sprewell, in a return to his native Milwaukee, gave up 33 points to Todd Day, then started so pathetically at Philadelphia that Lanier benched him for the second half.

“What do you want me to say?” Lanier told reporters. “Write what you see. You’ve all got eyes.”

Sprewell, hard to read in the best of times, has been responding to questions with a glassy-eyed look and a Gary Cooper-style answer: Yup, nope, or I don’t know.

Before the game in Miami, he went to see Owens, a headstrong young man in his own right but one who retains some connection with Earth.

Owens reported that the Warriors had better ask Sprewell what he needs (presumably besides a new heart).

“They better sit down and communicate with him,” Owens said. “They better work things out. If there’s no communication with him throughout the off-season, he’ll be fighting to get out of there.”

Said Sprewell later: “That’s probably true.”

YOU NEED A BREAK FROM MIKE STUFF?

Tough luck.

Let’s face it, Michael Jordan is the NBA now and everyone else--teammates, opponents, fans, writers--is the Jordanaires.

In Atlanta on March 25, he scored 32 points, including the game-winning basket, a 17-foot jumper at the buzzer over Steve Smith. Atlanta Coach Lenny Wilkens, when he was with Cleveland, always refused to double-team Jordan, one reason Mike ushered the Cavaliers out of the playoffs so often.

Said the Hawks’ Craig Ehlo, a former Cavalier who watched from the safety of the bench: “I thought he only did that to me.”

In New York, the Bulls’ bus to their morning shoot-around at Madison Square Garden was halted by a crowd of fans who milled around it, slapping its sides. The bus took 15 minutes to travel the last block and might have been there still if the cops hadn’t come along.

Jordan nuked the Knicks at night for 55 and settled the double-teaming controversy too. When Patrick Ewing came over to double on the Bulls’ last possession of the game, Jordan hit Bill Wennington for the game-winning dunk. Bottom line: If you play Mike one-on-one, he’ll beat you. If you double-team, he’ll beat you.

“I tried to throw everything I had at him,” John Starks said. “It was just a matter of time before he played one of those games like you’re just not there.”

The TV audience was TNT’s largest for a regular-season NBA game. Jordan’s first game back at Indianapolis drew an overnight rating of 13.3--quadrupling the NCAA tournament games on opposite it.

Bull center Luc Longley said the craziness has spread to his native Australia.

“There are many knowledgeable basketball reporters there but there also are the bandwagon guys now,” he said. “This guy was interviewing me and said, ‘You played Boston the other day?’

“I said, ‘Yes.’

“And he said, ‘That’s the Boston who?’ ”

Bull guard Steve Kerr acknowledged the changes in his role, too. “I’m just a roadie.” said Kerr. “I never had to put a do-not-disturb on my phone at hotels before. But now I get these calls from kids going, ‘Hey Steve, how are you? What’s up? What’s Michael’s room number?’ ”

Pacer center LaSalle Thompson, who is on the injured list, said he was getting more calls too.

“I’d pick up the phone and hear, ‘How’d the surgery go?’ ” he said. “And I’d just say, ‘I don’t have any tickets.’ ”

Bull Coach Phil Jackson, who is deep enough to recognize a civilization in trouble when he sees one, concluded that the hysteria “says something about society. . . . I’m amazed the city of Chicago would put up banners in the street commemorating his return. We’re real happy to have him back, no doubt about that. But we look for a certain sanity and hope it returns.”

Sure. Any day now.

FACES AND FIGURES

The Washington Bullets, rounding up support for Juwan Howard’s rookie-of-the-year candidacy (good luck), got the McLaughlin Group to do an ad. “He can do it all. He can shoot, he can rebound,” Eleanor Clift says. “And you should see the way he goes to his left.” . . . That wasn’t all that strong an item, so there must be a zinger coming, right? The young, talented Bullets have to finish 6-7 to equal last season’s humble 24-58 record.

The young, talented (ask them) Charlotte Hornets have gone down the tubes again. Scott Burrell and Larry Johnson had a loud argument during a timeout that was so ridiculous, Coach Allan Bristow stood back and laughed at them. Burrell tore an Achilles’ tendon and was lost for the season in a loss at Philadelphia. Wrote Michael Smith of the Gastonia, N.C., Gazette: “Hornets lose Burrell for season. Charlotte on its way to being paired up with Chicago in first round. Bristow now reading from Book of Revelations, wondering when next Seal will be broken and seas turn to blood.”

In the space of 10 games, the Phoenix Suns blew a five-game lead over the Seattle SuperSonics. The Suns, who had a 25-game home winning streak until the Lakers ended it Dec. 30, have lost eight more at home since. After a home loss to the Utah Jazz, Paul Westphal vowed, “We will not go into the toilet.” Let’s hope not. Losing the game was bad enough.

Whomever they hire, they’d better give him a whip and a chair: The Warriors asked Chuck Daly if he’d be interested in being their general manager. New team President Andy Dolich, once a 76er official, is also interested in Doug Collins as a coach or GM. . . . Just because he doesn’t do what everybody else does, that’s no reason we can’t give him love: Anthony Mason, famous Knick rebel, returned to Madison Square Garden after serving his five-game suspension and was given a standing ovation. Mason has filed a grievance but isn’t pressing it. The Knicks may not deduct any of his pay as the cast tries to join hands in time for the playoffs.

The players’ association has presented a proposal to raise the salary cap to $27 million. It is now at $15.9 million, and the owners have proposed something in the $22-million range, with teams prohibited from going over it, as they can now. Management was predictably unhappy. “All I want to say is we’re not encouraged,” said Deputy Commissioner Russ Granik. . . . The best commentary on negotiations so far comes from Piston player-rep Mark West: “They submitted something ridiculous, we submitted something ridiculous.” . . . General Manager Gregg Popovich of the San Antonio Spurs, asked before Dennis Rodman had his motorcycle accident, whether Rodman would be fined for arriving late for a game: “We may and we may not. Good people have overslept on occasion too.”