Gilbert, an Expert on Ugliness, Says Lendl Was No Pretty Boy

Brad Gilbert, a tennis player turned coach, intended the title of his book, “Winning Ugly,” to apply to his own inelegant but effective style of play. Yet it seems to apply equally to Ivan Lendl.

Gilbert describes his match in 1986 with Lendl, and Lendl’s practice of stalling when behind:

“He gradually edges up to the line to serve. I get ready, but he’s not quite set to go into his motion yet. He has some business to take care of first.

“He begins with his eyelash routine. You’ve seen that on television. He plucks an eyelash and looks at it. Then he plucks another one and looks at it. Then another one. How he can have any eyelashes left at this point in his career, I don’t know. He’s been plucking and looking at them for 15 years.”

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Add stalling: “Time to serve? Ivan starts bouncing the ball he’s finally chosen. Once. Twice. Three times he bounces it. Four times. Wait a minute. Must be some sweat in his eyes. He’s wiping off the sweat and running the sweatband over his eyebrows.

“Ivan goes to his pocket for a handful of sawdust. Rubs it on the grip. I’m still in the ready position. He spins the racket a few times. Taps his shoe. Bounces the ball one more time. Stares over at me. I’m still there. He serves. Ace! Lendl leads 15-love. I’m still in the ready position.”

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Trivia time: What is Denver Nugget center Dikembe Mutombo’s full name?

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The Mighty Heckcats: A Connecticut businessman, whose recent purchase of the CBA’s Hartford Hellcats saved the team from extinction, said his first order of business will be to change the team’s name.

Brian Foley said that, because of anti-profanity rules he enforces with his six children, the Hellcats’ nickname will have to go. Foley said the use of the word hell is outlawed in his household.

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Enough already: Paul Rudman of Orange may be a glutton for punishment. He and four Southern California teammates recently finished the EcoChallenge in Utah in a time of 8 days 17 hours 54 minutes.

The race’s segments included horseback riding for 33 miles, hiking 90 miles, rappelling down a 400-foot cliff, whitewater river rafting for 72 miles, ascending the face of a 1,200-foot rock wall, hiking 14 more miles and paddling 40 miles in a canoe.

What took so long?

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Home, safe home: San Francisco, no stranger to natural disasters, is starting to look pretty good to Kevin Mitchell, formerly of the San Francisco Giants.

Now playing for the Seibu Lions in Japan, Mitchell has had his fill of floods, earthquakes and unfamiliar food.

“He says if there is another earthquake, he’s swimming home,” said Mitchell’s former manager, Dusty Baker. “He’s lost 18 pounds on a [diet of] sushi, rice and octopus.”

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Home, awful home: In his two years with the Chicago Cubs, pitcher Steve Trachsel has not yet discovered the home-field advantage. He is 10-1 on the road, after winning at San Francisco on Monday, but only 1-9 at Wrigley Field.

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Trivia answer: Mutombo, a native of the African country of Zaire, is named Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacque Wamutombo.

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Quotebook: Roy Tarpley of the Dallas Mavericks, who didn’t play for three years while battling drug addiction: “I may not be the person I want to be, but thank God I’m not the person I used to be.”