. . . And Dole Should See ‘The Flim Flam Man’ as Well

The last movie Bob Dole saw was probably “Patton” or, maybe, “The Poseidon Adventure,” but suddenly he’s an expert on how Hollywood is corrupting America. I’d love to sit down with Dole and get a feel for his knowledge of contemporary cinema, but I suspect the conversation would be short of specifics. My guess is he couldn’t even tell you whether Joe Pesci was in “Lethal Weapon” or “Lethal Weapon 2.”

But because suckers abound, Dole got credit for his Hollywood-bashing. It’s as though some people actually think he’s on to something, as opposed to, say, just courting votes.

Dole thinks Hollywood is threatening the current crop of Americans. What he overlooks is that Hollywood has been corrupting us for years. For some reason, Dole cited “Natural Born Killers” for condemnation, although almost no one saw the movie (including Dole himself at the time he made his remarks) and despite the fact that no one who saw it liked it.

Dole has it all wrong. Sex and violence in a few forgettable films of the ‘90s aren’t the problem. If the senator really understood what’s wrong with America and if he really had the courage of his convictions, he’d realize the seeds of our decline were planted long ago. If he were the cinematic historian he purports to be, he would have cited these movies for contributing to the goofed-up state of American life:

“ Casablanca . . . “ This 1942 film convinced subsequent generations of American women that, when the chips were down, men would do the heroic thing. Yeah, right. What guy wouldn’t let beautiful Ingrid Bergman fly off with another guy after she had just declared her undying love for us, thereby leaving us without a chick and facing imminent danger from the Nazis--not to mention an uncertain bar business? No wonder every woman in the last 50 years has thought that all men, by comparison, are either cowards or jerks. Thanks, Bogie.

“ High Noon . . . “ Gary Cooper, in one of his strong, silent-type portrayals, influenced a generation of men that it was good to be reticent in discussing problems. Latter-day men, answering their wives only with “yup” and “nope,” would learn that such behavior only got them branded as uncommunicative slobs and traded in for men who shared their feelings.

“ On the Waterfront . . . “ Again, the theme of unrealistic expectations. Marlon Brando stands up to the mob and gets threatened, blackballed and pummeled as a result. Yet, he wins the support of his peers and gets the girl in the end. For years afterward, rivers and lakes throughout America teemed with corpses of guys who tried to emulate Brando.

“ An Affair to Remember . . . “ One of the most corrupting and dangerous movies of all time. Not only because it fueled the notion among moviegoers that things always work out when it comes to romance--plenty of other Hollywood movies did that too. No, the pervasive and damaging influence of this movie was that it inspired “Sleepless in Seattle” 36 years later.

“ Some Like It Hot . . . “ The success of this 1959 comedy, in which Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon dress up as women, was so widespread that it spawned the current glut of daytime TV talk shows.

“ To Kill a Mockingbird . . . “ This was just one of many courtroom movies in which Hollywood, in its perpetual quest for happy endings, portrayed a trial in which justice was achieved. Movies such as this and “12 Angry Men” fostered the widely held belief that our justice system always works and didn’t adequately prepare us for cases like the Menendez brothers.

“ The Graduate . . . “ Breakthrough ‘60s film about youthful disillusionment. Made daylong brooding and lounging in the pool extremely fashionable among new college graduates, while simultaneously cultivating distrust among young males for middle-aged women wearing leopard-skin underwear. Although released nearly 30 years ago, men in their early 20s still bear the same traits.

“ All the President’s Men . . . “ This mid-’70s release, hard on the heels of the Watergate scandal, misled an entire generation of young journalists into thinking that the American public wanted public corruption exposed. The news media’s zealousness in pursuing scandals only succeeded in alienating large numbers of Americans and making heroes out of people like Oliver North.

“ E.T. . . . “ Ultimately, a confusing story for children (was it an extraterrestrial or just a stuffed animal in the closet?) Beyond that, the movie showed children that love and loyalty are life’s strongest forces. What could possibly be more confusing to children than a message like that, especially when they watch adults around them?

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.