Youth Opinion : Children of Immigrants: Seeking a Place to Belong

A recent rise in gang arrests among middle-class children of Asian immigrants in the San Fernando Valley has brought attention to the pressures faced by all first- and second-generation immigrant children, tugged among family beliefs, American culture and even inter-ethnic frictions. VLADIMIR CERNA and JAMES BLAIR talked with Mexican, Filipino, Korean, Turkish and Samoan American youths. *

BURAK OZGUR

22, graduate of UC Irvine and medical school applicant; parents from Turkey

For me and other Muslim kids in our youth groups, the biggest problem was the pressures of dating or getting involved with the opposite sex. [Islam forbids premarital sex.] The solution for me was that we went in groups. So in terms of social problems, that was the only pressure I really felt. I was never tempted to go into drugs or to go into gangs.

However, growing up in Glendale with a large population of Armenians, they knew clearly from my name and from my faith that I was Muslim and/or that I was Turkish. The comments started in junior high--that my relatives killed their relatives. I got the impression that many Armenian parents were telling their kids to hate us.

It started getting worse in high school. I got threats. I got pushed around by what I knew were Armenian gangs.

I had a few good Jewish friends, a few good Catholic and Protestant friends. I mainly hung around with other people that all had a strong faith in God. We seemed to find each other like a magnet.

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SCOTT LEE

21, senior at Cal State Fullerton studying sociology and child development; parents are from Korea

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Junior high and high school were a little rough. I went to a school where there were maybe three Koreans and not many Asians. Most of my friends were Hispanic, African American, Filipino. I wanted to be one of them. I tried to do everything to make it seem like I was part of them.

They had a lot of Asian jokes. I tried to fire back some ethnic jokes toward them, but there were too many of them and it didn’t work. So I just ended up taking it all.

I didn’t feel I belonged to the American side because of the way I looked [or] the Korean side because I was born here and my Korean was pretty bad, so I couldn’t really communicate well with them either. I was stuck right in the middle.

The reason [I was not attracted to gangs], even though my friends did it and there was peer pressure, is because I’ve been going to church since I was a kid.

But when I went to college, I was proud to be Korean. I became vice president of the Korean Student Assn. After all these years I’m comfortable with myself.

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CHRISTINE SUAREZ

20, born in Los Angeles, parents are from the Philippines

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One of my friends in high school was called an “FOB,” for “fresh off the boat.” She came straight from the Philippines. Some people recognized her accent and expected her to act a certain way or eat a certain food.

By the end of the sophomore year, I guess she felt pressure to assimilate. She had joined this popular posse [social group] known for their hip-hop dances and talent shows. She admitted to me later that she had done that because she was not accepted at first and wanted to be “American.” Some of us didn’t like that posse because some of them had attitudes. Maybe she was thinking that she had to break down the stereotype of the Asian woman being quiet, sensitive.

There also are a lot of Filipinos like me, next generation, who are very confused. They have nothing to hold onto. Their parents don’t sit them down and tell them, “This is what it means to be Filipino, these are your beliefs.”

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KIWI FOISIA

16, senior at Carson High School; parents from Samoa

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In the Samoan culture, girls are supposed to stay home, do a lot of the housework and take care of the family, while boys are free to roam. I guess that’s true in a lot of other cultures, but Samoan girls are supposed to take their housework seriously.

I don’t like housework. I don’t like to vacuum. I don’t like to wash dishes. I’d like to get an education, maybe get into business.

There’s peer pressure about gangs because everybody’s in a gang. But I’m not. I just try to uninvolve myself.

The problem is that a lot of kids don’t really know about their options. The city of Carson has a lot of youth programs. They can get a job. There are programs at parks and we have camps. There are a lot of alternatives to being in a gang.

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GABRIELA CASTILLO

19, Oxnard; born in Orange County, parents are Mexican immigrants

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I was born in the United States, so when I go back to Mexico, they treat me very differently. They assume that I think of myself as being superior to them and they want to prove to me that I am not. I have to be part of both cultures and it’s hard. I have to accommodate my parents’ culture and also be part of the dominant culture.

My parents had a hard time allowing me to move out of their home when I came to college, because Mexican women don’t move out until they get married. I was moving out to continue my education, but I am going against what my parents believe.

A lot of my female friends tell me not to really think about my culture or accept the beliefs that my parents brought me up with, because they are not going to take me anywhere. My mother told me that I should marry a guy that treats me right, respects me and loves me. But my friends tell me, “Forget about it, love doesn’t buy anything.” They say that money is more important.

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RAMIRO VARGAS

19, South-Central Los Angeles, parents are Mexican immigrants

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My mom says to my 11-year-old sister, “You won’t have sex till you get married.” My mom teaches her to go to church, to pray, to aspire to have her Quinceanera party, to get married by the church.

But at the same time, my sister is growing up in the ‘90s. Most of these things confuse her, like [learning about] AIDS. She has grown up seeing people being run over, being shot, getting beat up; she has seen people steal.

In school, you get taught American history, how white people defeated the Mexicans in Texas and stuff, but at home they get taught how strong the Mexicans have been in battles. The Mexican way is to practice religion and culture, but the American way is to practice politics and independence.

According to Mexican beliefs, family is No. 1. That’s why the gangsters tell the kids, “We are a family. We [will watch] your back; they mess with you, we’ll back you up.” Parents have to work the American way and they don’t have time for family.

For me, being Mexican is to be proud of your Mexican blood, believing in our heroes like Moctezuma, Pancho Villa, Emiliano Zapata--all those people who made a difference, people that we look up to.