It’s Hot Enough to Fry an Egg on an NFL Player’s Helmet

Record heat across the country has created some of the main story lines from NFL training camps this year, causing the San Francisco Chronicle to compile appropriate quotes about working out in wicked weather. Among them:

Tom Landry, former Dallas Cowboy coach: “The heat is entirely mental. When you pass out, it becomes physical.”

Claude Humphrey, former Philadelphia Eagle defensive end: “If God wanted it so hot, why did he invent people?”

Derland Moore, former New Orleans Saint defensive tackle: “God made football just so water would taste good.”

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Trivia time: The lowest nine-hole score ever shot on the front nine of a PGA Championship was made in 1983 at Riviera. Who did it and what was his score?

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Who are they fooling? Television advertising for the Infiniti Open tennis tournament at UCLA implies, through film clips, that you can expect to see Andre Agassi, Pete Sampras, Michael Chang and Stefan Edberg. However, none of those players are entered in the event, which begins Monday. The commercial talks about sizzling, hot action and doesn’t mention the players by name, but the implication is clear. Agassi will be in town Monday for a charity show but not to play.

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A new twist: Noting that Indy car racing, with its growing feud between the new Indy Racing League and the old Championship Auto Racing Teams, seems to be following in the way of major league baseball, the NHL and NBA, Bud Shaw of the Cleveland Plain Dealer says it is merely following the credo of professional sports, “If it’s not broke, break it.”

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Marathon golf: Want to set a record? Try bettering this one. Gary Dawson, a six-handicap golfer from Australia, played 1,180 holes in seven days at the Northbridge club in Sydney. He averaged 169 holes a day, breaking the old record by 52 holes.

Wonder how many birdies he had in the last round.

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Chicago talk: In past years, Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley attended about 25 baseball games a season, but he has not been to one this year.

“I just got turned off by the strike,” he told the Chicago Sun-Times. “I think everybody did. Since they went back, I haven’t heard one person talk to me about baseball.”

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Built-in shanks: In the lost-and-found department of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette classified advertising section, the loss of a set of golf clubs was noted with the following warning:

“Legal owner has hired exalted high priestess of voodoo to curse thief, accomplices and buyer of said clubs.”

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Never forgets: David Meggett, who signed a lucrative free-agent contract with the New England Patriots, is still being haunted by Coach Bill Parcells’ memory of his first game six years ago with the New York Giants.

“He dropped four punts,” Parcells told reporters when Meggett reported to camp, reuniting with his former coach.

“Actually, it was three,” Meggett said. “I muffed the other one. But he never stops talking about it. I think he likes to give me a hard time.”

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In case you missed it: Ty Gainey, 34 and a native of Cheraw, S.C., is the first player to win the triple crown in the Mexican League in nearly 40 years. In the Mexico City Red Devils’ 113-game season, the former Houston Astro outfielder batted .410 with 27 home runs and 115 runs batted in.

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No shadows: The Goodyear blimp, Spirit of Akron, will be flying over the Indianapolis Motor Speedway next weekend, helping with TV coverage of the Brickyard 400, but it poses a special challenge to the pilot.

“You never want to put the blimp’s shadow on the track,” says Mickey Whittman, who manages the airship.

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Trivia answer: 29, by Gibby Gilbert during the second round.

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Quotebook: Jack Nicklaus, on growing old: “Trouble is, I want to play like me--and I can’t play like me anymore.”