Silver, Black Colors This Bad Opinion

Paul Oberjuerge of the San Bernardino Sun on the Raiders’ first exhibition game in Oakland:

“It was natural. It was beautiful. Like snakes in love. Like a Mafia family reunion. Like rats returning to the fetid sewer that spawned them. The Raiders and Oakland: A match made in hell. They couldn’t be happier.”

Comment from Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle: “Come back soon, Paul. We’ll keep the light on for you.”

Trivia time: Who was the first Angel to hit an inside-the-park home run?

Irish ethics: Michael Wadsworth, Notre Dame’s new athletic director: “I’d much rather have a 6-5-1 season and a coach of integrity who is a teacher than somebody who is 12-0 and achieves that record by a Machiavellian approach to the rules.”

Hmm, perhaps, Michael, you’d like to rehire Gerry Faust.

One size fits all: The Minnesota Twins honored Kent Hrbek by retiring his No. 14 uniform last Sunday. Fans were given replica Hrbek jerseys, all apparently XX-Large.

“Everyone in the family can fit in each,” Hrbek said. “It doubles as a quilt or a tent.”

Sound familiar? Movie producer Roger Corman is planning a film called “The Pitcher From Japan,” a fictional story about a Hollywood baseball team that imports a pitcher from Japan who turns out to be a sensation and leads his team to the World Series.

Brush-off: Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post: “Tyson and McNeeley weren’t even in the ring long enough for LeRoy Neiman to capture them.”

Walkisms: Bob Walk, Pittsburgh Pirate broadcaster, is doing his best to emulate Dizzy Dean, or Ralph Kiner. A sampling:

--”Sometimes it’s not that easy to duplicate it again.”

--”All the pitchers have been doing a great job of helping theirselves again.”

So there! John Steigerwald of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette responding to USC’s request that the school not be referred to as Southern Cal:

“Southern Cal. Southern Cal. Southern Cal. Southern Cal. Southern Cal. Southern Cal.”

Pinocchio promotion: Tom Weir in USA Today on the comparison of comebacks by Monica Seles and Mike Tyson:

“When Monica returned to tennis, everyone was surprised to learn she had grown a foot taller. While Don King was saying what a great fight it had been, everyone was shocked his nose didn’t grow a foot longer.”

Clip and save: Iheanyi Uwaezuoke, California’s senior wide receiver and a native of Nigeria, rates among the best in the Pacific 10 Conference. The pronunciation: Ee-HAW-knee Oh-WAY-zo-kay. OK?

Looking back On this day in 1946, Ben Hogan won the PGA championship with a 6-and-4 victory over Ed (Porky) Oliver.

Trivia answer: Jim Fregosi on Sept. 19, 1962, against Baltimore while the Angels were playing at Dodger Stadium.

Quotebook: Bob Uecker on how he would speed up baseball: “Start the game in the fifth inning.”