Not Just a Pretty Face: Di’s Making News

Hers is the face that launched a thousand magazine covers. Make that a million, no, 10 million, no, a zillion!

Not that anybody’s counting. Certainly not the editorial departments at People, Newsweek, Harper’s Bazaar, the Globe, the Star and the National Enquirer.

But, really, this is news. Discriminating minds want to know.

Don’t you want to know “The Truth About Her Sex Life”? See the Enquirer.

Aren’t you desperate for details of “forbidden trysts in hot tub, stable and garden”? Check out the Globe.

Want to know “Why She Won’t Go Away”? (Oh yes, please.)

Then pick up Newsweek and, as a bonus, get a sociological treatise on what mutual adultery and royal kiss-and-telling means for--tah-dah--The Future of The Monarchy.

Yes, the Princess of Wales is beautiful. (And perhaps never more so than in Harper’s Bazaar’s classy essay by Patrick Demarchelier, a promotion for United Cerebral Palsy.) And yes, sad to say, she is troubled. (Single mum, worried sick about her boys, so wants to be “queen” of our hearts.)

But that’s not what landed her and her surprisingly considerable cleavage on the most recent stack of front pages.

It was the news. Believe it.

As one editor put it, “What Diana has done in this televised interview is nothing short of a palace coup!”

“People admire her sooooo!” oozed a People editor. “In terms of international admiration, she surpassed Jackie Onassis years ago.”

Bowled over by her new “If-I-Can’t-Be-Queen- Then-You-Can’t-Be-King” attitude, even the normally staid Newsweek leaped at the opportunity to feature Di on its cover.

“It’s true that we were watching Bosnia very closely, and you will see us coming back very soon with a cover-linked Bosnia package,” says Mark Whitaker, assistant managing editor. “But we evaluated this as news. And we wouldn’t have done it if the news were not so compelling . . . if we didn’t see this as a remarkable challenge to the monarchy.”

Or, as archrival Time put it in an underwhelming back-of-the-book Di mention, “for delivering as penetrating a kick to the crown jewels as any woman in history.”

Over at Time’s rich sister People, there were no apologies for giving the princess the royal treatment.

According to managing editor Landon Jones Jr., Diana has been on People’s cover only once before this year. “I believe this shows incredible self-discipline,” he says. “Of course, we expect it to [sell] well. The last one did extremely well for us.”

And what had they prepared for the cover if there had been no Di?

A full-color photo of another blue-eyed blond: Accused serial killer Glen Rogers.