UCLA’s Start Not Worth a Wooden Nickel

F ive more days until the Wooden Classic, and Jim Harrick tries to hang on . . .

* “We are extremely pleased to have the opportunity to honor Coach Wooden by participating once again in what has become--almost overnight--the premier invitational in college basketball.” The words are Harrick’s, included in a promotional press kit for Saturday’s second installment of the John R. Wooden Classic at The Pond. The words were spoken when UCLA, Maryland and Purdue were still undefeated. Almost overnight, those three are a combined 6-6. According to reports, however, Wooden still plans to attend the event.

* UCLA (2-3) plays Maryland (1-2) in the losers’ bracket . . . excuse me, the “featured game.” In the undercard, Villanova (4-0) faces Purdue (3-1), which just won its own Boilermaker Invitational with an 87-76 victory in the final over Murray State. Which goes to show: The Boilermakers know how to schedule an invitational.

* UCLA just blew a 19-point lead to Kansas and ended up losing by 15. The Mighty Ducks, who have blown a pair of three-goal leads in the last 10 days, play their home games at The Pond. Hmmm. . . .

* Which will be remembered as UCLA’s worst half of basketball during the 1995-96 season? The second half against Kansas, when the Bruins were outscored by 30 points? Or the first half against Cal State Fullerton, when the Bruins were outscored by one?

* Vote early and often.

* The defending NCAA champions have lost to Santa Clara, Vanderbilt and Kansas without Tyus Edney. The Sacramento Kings are 12-4 with him. Might there be a correlation?

* Wooden Classic I was a sellout, as will be II. The Clippers drew 18,321 for another Saturday night loss, guest-hosted by Michael Jordan. Yes, this is basketball country. Please notify UC Irvine and Fullerton.

* Strangest sight at the Bulls-Clippers game was not Dennis Rodman, as many had predicted. Try Charles Outlaw shooting free throws. Outlaw took the collar again (0 for 4), didn’t really come close and now sits 2 for 17 for the season. That’s two made, 15 clanked. From 15 feet. With no hands in his face. Another mind-teasing statistic, brought to by the Only The Clippers file.

* Ma Jian was on press row Saturday, providing color commentary for the Clippers’ Chinese-language radio broadcast. I could have sworn I heard him say, “I still can’t believe these guys cut me.”

* Jordan was wearing his latest $50 collectible--a black-with-red-pinstripes No. 23 jersey, as per the Bulls’ new road uniform design. What does this mean for Jordan fans on a limited budget who already own King Air’s white No. 45, red No. 45, white No. 23 and red No. 23? Remember the immortal words of Scottie (What Ivory Tower?) Pippen: “Dig deeper.”

* The Bulls are not ground-breaking greedheads on this. Actually, the practice of creating new uniforms simply to exploit the pocketbooks of gullible, obsessive fans has its roots in English soccer. Last season, Manchester United’s players wore five uniform designs, and the club recently introduced a must-have gray-and-black road “kit” to keep its souvenir stands hopping. And they say professional soccer could never make it in this country.

* Northwestern, meanwhile, is doing just fine with its traditional color scheme. Or am I just imagining I’m seeing more purple sweatshirts, purple windbreakers and purple baseball caps since Thanksgiving weekend?

* Either Northwestern alumni or fans of The Artist Formerly Known As Prince are coming out of the woodwork, one or the other.

* The scariest part is when one of these (rapidly multiplying) crazed alumni grabs you by the shoulders, shakes you vigorously and shouts, “It’s the sports story of the year! The decade! The half-century, I tell you!” Me, I’m starting to gain a new appreciation for the Miami of Ohio football team.

* Miami is the only thing separating Northwestern from an undefeated season and, you know, sports story of the post-industrial age.

* It’s going to get even worse after Northwestern wins the Rose Bowl.

* These three-goal leads the Ducks keep tossing away bring to mind that old, and odd, hockey coach’s maxim: “A two-goal lead is the toughest lead in hockey to protect.” The logic works this way: Supposedly, a team with a two-goal lead often becomes lax whereas a team with a one-goal lead remains focused. What still hasn’t been explained is what happens when the other team scores and that two-goal lead becomes a one-goal lead?

* Shouldn’t more teams regain their focus after giving up a goal and protect more of these one-goal leads?

* Or, in the case of the Ducks, don’t they just need better defensemen?

* We Knew It Was a Bad Trade Before It Was Announced: The Kings’ infamous Alexei Zhitnik deal continues as Sam McMaster’s worst nightmare. Two of the three players McMaster received in exchange for Zhitnik are no longer with the Kings--Grant Fuhr now plays for St. Louis and Denis Tsygurov was sent down to Phoenix Saturday. Meanwhile, Zhitnik’s two goals and 14 points for Buffalo would lead all current King defensemen in scoring.

* The Deion Effect: This season, the Dallas Cowboys have lost twice as many games (two) with Deion Sanders than without him. Wonder if that will make his next commercial?

* Would Jimmy Johnson have lost two games in the same season to the Washington Redskins?

* The road to the Super Bowl does not run through Washington, not this year. But if it did, where would Barry Switzer be looking for work this morning?