BODY WATCH : Just Call Him Homer Schwarzenegger
We knew Homer Simpson was a lot of things, but an exercise buff? Sure enough, “The Simpsons’ ” leading man and heartthrob knows everything there is to know about fitness. We believe it. Homer (and the writers of the show) wouldn’t lie.
Question: Describe your workout, please.
Answer: I lift weights. And furniture. It all really depends on what my doughnut has rolled under.
Q: What’s your favorite exercise?
A: I play a lot of fooseball. It keeps my wrists limber for opening pickle jars. Mmmmm . . . pickles.
Q: And do you work out to music?
A: Don’t you have to work out to “YMCA”? I think it’s the law.
Q: Homer, do you deliberately maintain that unique physique?
A: Hey! It just so happens that I model my body after the great masters--Botticelli . . . Rubens . . . Ebert.
Q: How much do you weigh, anyway?
A: Look, lady, maybe I have a little trouble getting into my pants, maybe I eat a few too many pork chops, maybe I’ve been arrested not once but twice for indecent exposure in a place of worship. . . . I’m sorry, what was the question?
Q: I don’t remember. What do you wear when you’re exercising?
A: Let’s see . . . miter, clerical robe, crucifix. . . .
Q: For exercising?
A: Oh, I thought you said exorcising.
Q: Let’s try something else. How about passing along some fitness advice?
A: Despite what you think, nobody wins in a butter-eating contest.
Q: If you were going to do an exercise video, which celebrities would you include?
A: Mr. French. Ooh! And that guy from “F Troop.”
Q: Do you ever exercise with your family?
A: I tried doing some aerobics with Marge once, but her hair got caught in the ceiling fan. Boy, was that a mess! Ceiling fan pieces everywhere!
Q: Does Marge find you especially appealing after you’ve exercised?
A: Are you kidding? Once she sees my healthy glow, she knows the SS Homer is sailing into port with a cargo full of love!
* Guest Workout runs every other Tuesday in Life & Style.
The complete guide to home viewing
Get Screen Gab for everything about the TV shows and streaming movies everyone’s talking about.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.