Owners Find Behring’s Actions Laughable

Ken Behring didn’t show his face during working hours Thursday at the first gathering of NFL owners since he claimed he was shipping his Seattle Seahawks to Southern California.

Here are his colleagues’ careful and considered reaction to the proposed move:

“Ha-ha! Hee-hee! Ooo-hoo! Hee-yaw! Snort-snort!”

Owners shelled by four franchise moves in the last year jumped over each other Thursday to stand in Behring’s line of fire.

Why? Other than, they like Ken Behring less than a 3 a.m. charley horse?

Owners said this move is different than the others.

Owners said this move doesn’t stand a chance of happening.

Said one club executive: “There is no way he’s leaving there.”

Said another: “The league is less worried about this than anything that has been happening.”

OK, so these are words that usually stand up like spaghetti.

And yes, in most cases, their meetings are easily confused for a Pinocchio Fan Club.

But this time, they can be believed.

Because this time, they have something simpler, but stronger, than rhetoric.

They have reasons.

Three darn good ones.

And none of which involve those silly relocation guidelines that are treated like 60-mph signs.

For once, the league feels it will go into battle with something stronger than a popgun.

None of the above executives would speak for the record, because Behring, who sent letters of explanation to the other owners earlier this week, is not expected to make his opening plea until today.

But here is what they figure:

--The Seahawks’ proposed move is perhaps the most blatant violation of a lease or user’s permit in sports history.

Behring has agreed to stay in the Kingdome for 10 more years, with no buyout clause, with no escape except to claim that the building is falling down. At which point, King County can agree to fix it up.

The other folks?

Houston and Cleveland had only two years left on their leases, both of which are being negotiated to avoid a lawsuit.

The Rams had 21 years left on their lease, but the document contained a specific buyout clause.

And Al Davis, bless his heart, didn’t have a lease at all.

Officials think that the lease violation is so serious, a judge will prevent the matter from ever reaching them.

One predicted scenario is that a judge will grant a permanent injunction in a couple of weeks and force the county to make the earthquake-related repairs that Behring demands and keep them there.

--The Seahawks’ proposed move is perhaps the most blatant violation of a league edict in NFL history.

The owners are not pleased that less than a year ago, Behring agreed to a proposal that would allow the league to control the Los Angeles market.

“That proposal is very serious, and must be addressed,” said Lamar Hunt, Kansas City Chief owner.

Of all the lawsuits that they have lost over the years, none have involved a ratified proposal like this one.

Several executives said this is the first time since the loss to Al Davis in the early 1980s when the league may take a legal stand.

Davis, you’ll remember, violated no such proposal.

According to Pittsburgh Steeler owner Dan Rooney, what Behring is saying about Los Angeles is one thing, “Does is a different story,” Rooney said. “They aren’t there yet.”

--The Seahawks’ owner may be the most disliked man in the league.

“The man is out there on an island,” one executive said.

The other folks?

Art Modell of the Browns and Bud Adams of the Oilers are good ol’ boys who used their longtime service with the league to curry favor and cut corners.

Al Davis was feared. John Shaw, bearding for Georgia Frontiere in the Rams deal, was respected.

Behring is ridiculed.

“Ball Behring,” one owner called him Thursday.

Because of this, he won’t get any legal help navigating Seattle’s shark-filled waters.

Nobody will talk about cutting a deal that will return a team to Seattle in five years.

Nobody will talk about opening their wallets to help Seattle build a new stadium if they would simply leave poor Ken Behring alone.

Not only is Behring an island, but so is his city.

No other NFL team is within 678 miles to the south (San Francisco and Oakland). Or within 1,400 miles to the east (Minnesota). Or anywhere to the north and west.

This is important because the league deals with TV and licensing contracts where regions are as important as cities. Where time zones are as important as touchdowns. Where Seattle may be as vital to a financial future as, well, Los Angeles.

“That is a very big part of the country that we would be cutting out,” Hunt said. “I don’t see how we can afford to lose that.”

It is also part of the country where the local NFL owner has a long, ironclad lease . . . and a league proposal on which he has reneged . . . and fewer friends than a Seattleite with a suntan.

Hey Seahawks, it wasn’t so bad having you here.

You didn’t lose a game. You didn’t sucker Peter O’Malley into giving up an expansion dream that is shared by the city. And except for the few times when Behring opened his mouth, you didn’t even litter.

See ya.