Ex-Congregants Create One Wicked Satire

It could have been a scene out of an old MGM musical: The church was being torn apart by a struggle to control the pulpit. There were secret meetings, rigged elections and the mysterious death of a minister’s widow. Two men railed against those in power, only to find themselves thrown out of the church.

How to get their anti-corruption message across to the congregation? Hey, they said to one another, let’s put on a show!

No one, however, would confuse Michael X. Raye and Tom Porterhouse with Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland. And their show--a musical titled “Who Killed Mrs. Bitzer?”--is no “Babes in Arms.” No way would it have passed the Hayes Code censors.

Raye and Porterhouse were longtime members of the Hollywood Church of Religious Science, which was headed for decades by the charismatic Robert H. Bitzer. After Bitzer’s death in 1994 at the age of 98, said Raye, the church’s congregation split over who would replace him and control the small spiritual organization and its financial empire.

Last fall, a faction of fairly new members took over the church’s board. Bitzer’s cantankerous widow, Marguerite, and older members of the church tried to regain control, but Mrs. Bitzer died about a year later--mysteriously.

Porterhouse claims that hours passed before anyone reported Mrs. Bitzer’s death and that she was cremated without an autopsy. Soon afterward, the newcomers changed the church bylaws, kept control of the board, and excommunicated those who opposed them, starting with Raye and Porterhouse, they say.

“I was just so mad, and (the play) was a way to channel the energy,” said Raye.

The rumblings and larger-than-life characters provided ample fodder for parody. Raye and Porterhouse churned out a script about the “Church of Ridiculous Science” in 10 days with help from friend Greg Cervantez. The three also directed and produced the play as a group.

The production schedule was unbelievably rushed: four rehearsals. Opening night was the cast’s first complete run-through. After a three-night stand in October, Raye and company decided to reopen for a six-week run starting in December, which has been extended through the end of March.

“I’m amazed,” said James Albright, general director of Haunted Studios, the 49-seat theater / costume rental house in North Hollywood where the show is performed. “A lot of people keep coming.”

The show is not for the prudish. It is universally described as “bawdy” or “raunchy” by the cast, and is filled with low-brow innuendo. Dreary Leaders (Kurt Schwoebel), the heir-apparent to Bitzer’s throne, spends a full song dancing in high heels and women’s underwear. Kelly Clothes-Horse (Karen Kolton) and Tom Wayne (Patrick Williams) writhe through the song “Phone Sex.” And the grand finale? A number called “Spare Change for a Sex Change.” Comparisons to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” are common.

“We don’t confuse it with ‘My Fair Lady,’ ” said Albright.

Raye’s influence is more Charles Ludlam than George Bernard Shaw. As an actor with the Playhouse of the Ridiculous in Amsterdam and New York, Raye delivered camp of the highest order. Not surprisingly, he considers over-seriousness to be theater’s most deadly malaise. In his book, theater should be bawdy, wild and, most importantly, entertaining. If he’s offended someone, he said, then he’s done his job.

“Who Killed Mrs. Bitzer?” he said, “is not what’s considered good taste in theater. . . . Once there’s good taste in theater, that destroys it.”

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The cast, by and large, has approached “Mrs. Bitzer” as a continuous work in progress. To strive for perfection would be not only Sisyphean, it would miss the point. Songs have been added and/or rewritten. The cast changes with the phase of the moon. One week, Jennifer Buttell had to sub in for Kate Prendergast as the manic Mrs. Bitzer. The man who took over as Maria--in drag--had only one full rehearsal before his debut.

The other unpredictable factor is the audience. The actors court a certain amount of audience participation, and the response can alter the show dramatically.

“It’s like they’re part of the congregation, but the audience doesn’t get that at first,” said Lori Alex, who plays the congregational slut. Actress Kolton added, “You can tell when the audience isn’t into it, that they’re really shocked, because they get really quiet.”

The audience can’t claim they weren’t warned, though. Before the show starts, one of the actors makes this announcement: “Some of you might find the material offensive or controversial. We ask that you wait until intermission to leave the theater, so you don’t disrupt those who haven’t caught on yet.”

Some have fled at intermission, Raye said, but the attrition rate has been low--if you don’t count opening night. Raye and Porterhouse recruited their opening night audience outside the Hollywood Church of Religious Science by handing out fliers after a service. The original goal, after all, was to confront the congregation with the absurdity of recent goings-on, said Raye.

Some members actually came to the show, Raye said, and left en masse before it was over.

That’s not surprising, considering that the caricatures aren’t far removed from their inspiration. Names were changed slightly, and the actors have added their own touches, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Dreary Leaders is drawn from Jerry Luedders, the church’s current minister.

“Some (church) members have been to see it, not the ones we parody, but others,” said Raye. “But now they’re just resigned to it and see it as just something silly.”

Church leaders are not commenting on the play at all, according to attorney Ronald Litz, who represents the church. “They feel it’s nonsense and has no relationship to any facts or circumstances relating to the church,” he said.

Litz did send a letter to Raye and Porterhouse last September warning them that “Who Killed Mrs. Bitzer?” could be potentially slanderous. No other legal action has been taken so far, Litz said, but it hasn’t been ruled out, either.

“We’ll deal with Mr. Raye and Mr. Porterhouse at the appropriate time in the appropriate way,” Litz said.

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If it comes to that, Raye’s commitment to the ridiculous may prove his best defense. But co-writer Porterhouse still seems to take the subject a little more seriously. His real-life experience with the church left him without faith in any religion. “Even though [the play] is funny and absurd, it has a message,” he said.

That message might become even more widespread. Independent producer Tony Roman has optioned the play with an eye toward a low-low-budget film version. It’s hip, it’s funny, it’s today, Roman said. Sort of a “Little Shop of Horrors” of the ‘90s.

Roman would like to spruce up the songs but keep the “street art” effect of the whole show, he said, adding, “I believe it to be a real gem.”

DETAILS

* WHAT: “Who Killed Mrs. Bitzer?”

* WHERE: Haunted Studios, 11345 N. Chandler Ave., North Hollywood.

* WHEN: 8:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays through March 30.

* HOW MUCH: $10; $5 for senior and students.

* CALL: Theatix at (213) 466-1767.