The Odd Couplings Sure Made the Place a Tower of Babble

The road to glamour Vanity Fair-style came after successfully passing the police barricade on Robertson Boulevard. It was here that privileged guest was separated from ordinary, inconvenienced motorist. Fifty yards further, one of the 25 parking attendants was opening car doors and there was a chance to take in the scene: the pair of 30-foot Oscar-shaped topiaries that looked like behemoth Chia plants, the 40 film crews yelling in a babel of foreign accents, dozens of security guards talking frantically into their sleeves, the rock concert-style lighting system that bathed Morton’s restaurant in purples, yellows and pinks.

Then there was a greeting from the magazine’s Editor Graydon Carter, who said he wanted his party to be “very comfortable, very glamorous.” Then it was inside for the preshow cocktail party. It was here guests could listen to producer Steve Tisch, whose “Forrest Gump” took home the ’95 Oscar for best picture, saying he felt like “last year’s Miss America.” Nearby stood Roy Lichtenstein, Dee Dee Myers, Si Newhouse, Marvin and Barbara Davis, Jay Leno and Steve Martin, who compares the Oscar hoopla to the Super Bowl.

It was only when the show started that guests made their way to the tables (and booths newly installed for the occasion) where the televised ceremony would be seen and a dinner choice of red fish with cabernet sauce or free-range chicken served. Though the sightlines to the TV monitors were perfect, the guests’ chatter made the show difficult to hear. “After three years of coming to this party,” said Bob Colacello, “I still don’t know if I’m supposed to talk or watch.”

But who could blame the crowd for talking? How often does Diana Ross get to dine with Prince Dimitri of Yugoslavia and Tim Allen? Or Eli and Edythe Broad with Betsy Bloomingdale, David Hockney and Jeff Burkhart? Or Jennifer Jones with Billy Wilder and Angie Dickinson? “I interviewed this whole room,” Larry King said as he surveyed the mob.

Some hurried from the Governor’s Ball, because moments after the show ended a stream of stars began arriving: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Jessica Lange, Liam Neeson, Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow, John Travolta and Kelly Preston, Jim Carrey, Steven Seagal, Winona Ryder, Vanessa Williams, and Rita Wilson with husband Tom Hanks, who said not being nominated is delightful. “There’s no pressure. It’s like a great date. You don’t have to pay.”

By now the whole restaurant was packed. King Hussein of Jordan’s son was being trailed by two Middle Eastern bodyguards. Cruise was loaning his cell phone to Richard E. Grant. Ron Silver was asking Nicolas Cage if he could hold his Oscar. There was no room for the bagpiper Jodie Foster hired to accompany Mel Gibson on his celebratory rounds. “Two in the hand is worth one in the bush,” said the “Braveheart” star/director as he brandished his dual statues.

And then, almost suddenly, at half past one it was over. One of the last guests exiting was an exhausted producer who had been trying to get his wife to leave earlier. “I mean, how much Hollywood do you want?” he was saying.

She wanted it all.