You Can’t Get Enough Fries With This Order

A restaurant in a Cleveland suburb added a $99.99 Albert Belle Greedy Burger to its menu last week as a joke.

The temperamental Indian outfielder wasn’t laughing, though. He called to complain to restaurateur Eddie Cerino, and the bogus item disappeared from the menu.

The burger was meant to poke fun at Belle’s reported rejection of a $37.5-million contract offer from the Indians.

The menu described the 7-ounce burger as having every topping, “which still isn’t enough,” and added the warning: “No substitutions for loyalty to the fans or the city of Cleveland.”

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Trivia time: Which former Laker shares the NBA playoff record for most free throws in a game without a miss?

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Perfect fit: Charlotte Hornet guard Kenny Anderson on his former team, the New Jersey Nets: “I’d quit basketball before I’d go back there again. They’ve got a good attitude, but they’re going to win 20 games. I’d rather have a team with a bad attitude that wins 50 games.”

Anderson is in limbo. New Jersey finished the season with 30 victories and Charlotte with 41.

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Epic foldo: Before the regular season ended, the Atlanta Hawks blew 19-, 16-, 21- and 20-point leads, winning only one of the four games.

Commented Atlanta forward Grant Long: “It was a Cecil B. Demise production.”

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Boys of blunder: Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe on the underachieving Red Sox: “It would be unfair to saddle [Manager Kevin] Kennedy with much of the blame for what has transpired thus far in train-wreck season.

“The Red Sox rank last in the American League in hitting, lead the majors in errors and have walked more batters than any team in the AL.”

Shaughnessy writes that the Red Sox “are becoming a national curiosity, the remote Montana cabin of sports.”

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Add Red Sox: How bad is their fielding? According to Shaughnessy, “One Sox fan suggested the team’s defensive motto be, ‘Hit ‘em where they are.’ ”

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Soggy stroke: Chicago Cub center fielder Brian McRae observing the batting stroke of pitcher Frank Castillo: “It looks like he’s swinging a wet newspaper.”

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Dream on: Brendan Malone, fired as coach of the Toronto Raptors after a stormy relationship with General Manager Isiah Thomas: “I think I’m mentally tough, and I can take a punch. I want Mike Tyson.”

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Ouch! Jay Leno after the Chicago Bulls won their NBA-record 70th game: “That is one incredible year for the Bulls--or 10 incredible years for the Clippers.”

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Trivia answer: Gail Goodrich, with 17 against Chicago on March 28, 1971.

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And finally: Milwaukee Brewer pitcher Ben McDonald considers fish “good energy food.” When he pitched for Louisiana State, he was known for eating sardines between starts. But in the minor leagues he was forced to end that practice.

“The smell was so outrageous, it was killing my roommate,” he said. “Now I eat fish [only] in restaurants.”