Oxnard Firefighters Cook Up Gag Gift Redolent of the Traditional Cop Snack

The cop at the late-night fire scene gave off an unmistakable scent, one universal to squad cars and station houses.

“It smelled like he was bathed in batter,” Oxnard Firefighter Bobby Alamillo recalled. “He reeked of doughnuts. And he was a good 10 feet away.”

On the ride back to the station, Alamillo got to thinking.

Within a week, he had a prototype product: Donut Cologne.

A year later, the cinnamon crumb-flavored cologne is ready to hit the streets.

“It’s a pleasant, hungry-for-a-doughnut scent,” said Firefighter Craig Freeman, who along with Alamillo and Battalion Chief Clarence Slayton has invested $20,000 in developing the gag gift. The first shipment of 10,000 bottles--which will be packaged by the Assn. for Retarded Citizens in Camarillo--is expected to arrive in about a week.

“We already have retailers across the state and even Australia asking for it,” Alamillo said.

Freeman is toying with the idea of a web site. “We could call it Donut.com,” he said.

The cologne comes in a plastic, chocolate-colored doughnut-shaped bottle complete with white frosting. Alamillo made the prototype bottle from part of his 3-year-old son’s ring-toss game, with caulking and Elmer’s glue serving as frosting.

The motto on Donut Cologne’s pink cardboard packaging is guaranteed to strike a chord with police officers: “Splash some on for that ‘just had my break’ smell.”

If that doesn’t get their goat, then a quote from a pamphlet inside the packaging will: “Tired of smelling like a ‘pig?’ Take heart, Donut Cologne is here.”

Recent scientific studies indicate that the scent of doughnuts is something of an aphrodisiac, at least when combined with licorice or pumpkin pie. Alamillo isn’t surprised.

“People think guys in uniform look attractive, manly even,” he said. “But maybe it’s just the smell of doughnuts.”

Although most officers profess to have dropped the doughnut habit for health reasons, Alamillo finds that argument full of holes.

“Invariably you’re going to find a cop inside a doughnut shop,” he said of law enforcement’s cruller crowd. “It’s a tough habit to break.”

Although the joke is on them, Ventura County cops insist they don’t mind.

“Smell’s like . . . a doughnut,” said Oxnard Officer Ken Klopman, sniffing the brown plastic bottle. “Some of the old-timers might go for it. But I’d prefer a bagel cologne. Actually, I don’t wear food colognes.”

Fellow Officer Larry Eklund said the sweet scent made him hungry.

“It’s kind of like smelling popcorn,” Eklund said.

Ventura Lt. Don Arth said that like many cops, he no longer eats doughnuts.

“I’m no longer a glazed gladiator,” Arth said. “But when I was, I preferred cream puffs and apple fritters. But I’m not about to go to the gym smelling like an apple fritter.”

Picking the right odor wasn’t easy. The three partners enlisted 15 fellow firefighters to try whiffs of several concoctions developed by a Van Nuys company. The ingredients in the water-based product remain a secret--even to the partners--but the synthetic substance smells strongly of cinnamon and buttery dough.

“The plain doughnut scent just didn’t smell right,” Freeman said. “The jelly-filled was too potent or something.”

“We found cinnamon crumb to be the essence of all doughnuts,” Alamillo said.

Christine Le, a Foster’s Donuts store manager, agreed. “So nice,” she said. “Cinnamon crumb’s a big seller.”

But she wasn’t too keen on the $9.95 price tag.

“That’s two dozen doughnuts,” she said.