Wow! Baseball Players Are Really Swell Guys

I am 3 1/2 years old. My father took me to my first Dodger game ever last Tuesday and I must say, I was both thrilled and overwhelmed not only by the skill and determination of such world-class athletes, but also by the symmetry and beauty of the slice of “blue heaven” known as Dodger Stadium.

My most shocking experience of the night, however, was the response of Dodger superstar Mike Piazza to my request for an autograph. “Kid,” said the brawny catcher, “not only will I give you my autograph, but from this day forth, I will also pay for any vaccinations you may need, so that you can lead a healthy, productive life. After all, your health is more important than any amount of money.”

Touched by his generosity, pitchers Hideo Nomo and Ismael Valdes fell to the ground weeping, vowing to adopt impoverished children from their homelands, so that they too could receive the gifts and care that all youths deserve. Needless to say, there was not a dry eye in the stands.

ROBERT RUTKIN

Encino

P.S. Parts of this letter may have been “juiced up.”