Watch It, World, a Greene Machine Is on the Way

Kevin Greene, former Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker, who recently signed a two-year, $2-million contract with the Carolina Panthers, had this to say about life after the NFL:

“I’m going to be lost without the game. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I guess I’ll end up in a park somewhere late at night and clip somebody while they’re drinking water out of a fountain.

“I’ll just come out of the woods with face paint on or something. Or maybe I’ll go low-crawling through the bushes, with a helmet on.”

For everybody’s sake, Kevin, stay in the NFL as long as you can.

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Trivia time: Who holds the world record in the 440-yard dash?

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Finally cleansed: After having been knocked out of the NBA playoffs in the first round in two previous seasons, the Seattle SuperSonics have charged into the Western Conference finals.

Coach George Karl, reflecting on getting out of the first round this season: “There was an exorcism performed in Sacramento. I don’t know what had been inside my body, but it’s not there anymore.”

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Major mistake: After Al Leiter had pitched a no-hitter for the Florida Marlins, San Francisco Giant outfielder Barry Bonds told teammate Mark Leiter, “Hey, man, we signed the wrong brother.”

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Clip and save: Johnny Miller, television golf analyst, on Stanford’s Tiger Woods: “I wouldn’t be surprised to see him win the U.S. Open this year at Oakland Hills. If he fires something like a 68 on the first day, he could just say, ‘See you later guys.’ ”

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Passing lane: Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer on Houston Astro catcher Jerry Goff, who recently tied a major league record with six passed balls:

“His favorite expression is obviously: ‘All things must pass.’ His favorite Dickens’ character is clearly the Ghost of Christmas Past.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1952, the Brooklyn Dodgers scored 15 runs in the first inning and went on to defeat the Cincinnati Reds, 19-1.

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Trivia answer: John Smith, with a time of 44.5 seconds, while competing for UCLA in 1971 before metric measurement became the standard in U.S. track meets. Smith is now an assistant track coach at the school.

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And finally: Jud Buechler of the Chicago Bulls telling Stan McNeal of the San Diego Union-Tribune of the site where Dennis Rodman had his 35th birthday party:

“It was the kind of place that if you go to it, the next day you just burn your clothes. There were a lot of tattoos, some cross-dressers. There were women and guys dancing in cages.”