Sisterhood of Silence

They think of themselves as brothers and sisters.

They share meals during school days and party together on the weekends. They join forces to raise money for charity and swap notes for their class finals.

What binds them together, woven deep into the time-honored traditions of the fraternity and sorority system, is loyalty.

So as word spread this week of the alleged gang rape of a UCLA sorority member by three fraternity brothers, sorority sisters found themselves torn between allegiances: Should they unite with campus women mobilizing over the issue or keep a distance for fear of casting a pall over the entire fraternity system?

“Everybody feels awful, but I know from speaking to girls in my house, they don’t want to see a negative stereotype on the Greek system,” said Lisa Hormuth, a junior and member of Kappa Alpha Theta. “I know the houses are proud of the girl for coming out, but they don’t want it to be a big downer for the Greek system.”

Further complicating the matter are the circumstances of the alleged assault, which reportedly occurred last weekend during a fraternity party at a Palm Springs hotel. Police investigators say that at the time, the woman and three men were in one of the hotel rooms playing a sexually provocative game similar to Spin the Bottle.

The three men--members of the Zeta Beta Tau fraternity--were arrested and released on bail. Charges have not been filed against them. The case is a difficult one, law enforcement sources say, because the woman told investigators she had consumed marijuana and alcohol.

Officials for the Riverside County district attorney’s office say they will decide next week whether to pursue cases against Cheyenne Joseph Mount, Kristof Hamrick and Jack Robert Ripsteen.

Until then, many sorority women have opted to follow a code of silence, even as campus activists have applied pressure to speak out.

“We just don’t know the whole story,” said one sorority member, who asked not to be identified. “It’s not a clear case, and I’m not going to throw my support one way or another. I realize it’s a strange sentiment to have as a woman. And I’ve thought about that. But I’m not going to make a judgment because I’m female and she is female.”

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News of the allegations rolled through the sorority houses in hushed conversations. Emergency house meetings were called. Signs were posted on doors and walls warning members not to talk to the media, which converged on UCLA’s sorority row. Few Greeks wore their letters around campus.

The difficult week culminated Thursday evening, when about 200 people--calling for reforms in the fraternity system--rallied on the Westwood campus in support of the woman in the case.

Fliers blasting the Greek system were handed out in Westwood Plaza before the rally, setting a tone that did not welcome fraternity or sorority members to the event. About two dozen Greeks showed up.

The sorority system’s lone public statement on the issue came from Debbie Kim, president of the Panhellenic Council, during the sunset rally. After three days of silence, she stepped onto a concrete stage in the heart of campus and took hold of a portable microphone.

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“Tonight proves we will no longer tolerate being unheard. As women, we must stand and fight,” said Kim, fixed on her statement, her voice halting at times. “It is our responsibility to continue education and outreach to women about women’s issues such as rape,” she said, making no reference to the current allegations. “It is our responsibility to hold one another accountable, to look out for one another, and continue fighting for the empowerment of women.”

But as other rally speakers began criticizing the fraternities, saying they perpetuate violence against women, the handful of sorority members held their applause, shaking their heads.

Then they hung back as the rest of the protesters marched toward the fraternity houses, chanting “Stop Rape Now!”

Some sorority members watched from the back of the crowd, angry that the issue of rape was being used by non-Greeks to blast the fraternity and sorority system.

Two hours later, about 50 fraternity and sorority members gathered in a candlelight vigil near the rally site and sat with somber faces in support of the woman. Many in the the group came and left silently, most turning down requests for comment.

“We’re just here to show that we’re here for her,” said Mike Walters, a member of Pi Kappa Alpha.

Kari Winsel, an Alpha Phi, stayed behind for a few moments.

“I don’t think people don’t want to talk about it--I think it’s that people don’t want to be misunderstood,” said Winsel, adding that she is frustrated that the issue is being looked at as a fraternity problem.

“I think a lot of people fail to remember that it can be any guy, not just a guy in a fraternity. It can be the guy next door, it can be a friend, it can be your brother, it can be your dad. People don’t walk around with the label rapist on their forehead--you don’t know who they are.”

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Greek leaders worry that the allegations will further erode membership, which has been dropping the last six years at UCLA and other campuses nationwide.

The roughly 2,400 Greek members at UCLA make up about 10%of the undergraduate student body, down from about 15% in 1990.

The allegations also come at a time when the UCLA fraternities still are trying to regain their stature in the wake of an episode several years ago, in which obscene and anti-women lyrics from a songbook used by fraternity pledges became public.

After the publication of the lyrics in the campus newspaper, the undergraduate student government voted at a highly charged public meeting to break off its relationship with the Interfraternity Council. Fraternity members stormed out in anger as did sorority women, who in turn alienated themselves from student government leaders.

For many campus leaders, the sorority system showed its true colors during the songbook controversy by choosing to stand with fraternity men and not with other campus women, who believed that the lyrics encouraged violence against women.

The recent allegations of rape have crystallized this issue, and non-Greeks are asking the sorority members to make a choice.

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“I think a lot of what Panhellenic has been doing is to condemn rape and not condemn the fraternities, when the two are so linked to each other,” said Barbara Brazil, an organizer of Thursday’s rally. “All this stuff is going to come to a head, and the women are going to have to start standing up against the system rather than just isolated incidents.”

But many said the ties that bind fraternities and sororities are not easy to sever, even in the face of an alleged rape.

“If you join your freshman year and live in a house, your entire social life is the house and your friends in the system,” said Vicky Gomelsky, a Kappa Alpha Theta alumna. “When something like this happens, it’s threatening to your whole lifestyle. If the system starts to crumble, your whole lifestyle crumbles.”

* Times staff writer Tina Daunt contributed to this report.