Keep World Series From Being Snowed In

Last night I had the strangest dream. It was about baseball. I had never dreamed about baseball before, at least not while asleep.

Daydreams, yes. Daydreams about playing for the Dodgers, playing against the Yankees and hitting a grand slam in the last of the ninth to win the seventh game of the World Series, 4 to 3.

Perhaps my dream was prompted by the fact that until Oct. 17, no one knew which two teams would meet in the World Series. In the old days, the World Series results would already be history.

In my dream it was mid-November 1998, and the first game of the World Series was being played in Boston between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Mets, two wild card teams.

October 1998 had been the wettest in over 100 years and rain-outs had caused delays until this mid-November day. It was bitterly cold. A blizzard the night before had dropped two feet of snow on the ground from Virginia to Canada.

The groundskeepers had done a good job of clearing the snow from the playing field and had piled it up 5 feet deep outside the foul lines.

At this point it began to snow again and the umpires called a meeting. Should they call the game off? If so, until when? After Thanksgiving? Christmas?

After a heated discussion, they decided to cancel the game until the following spring. They cited as a precedent the fact that Roberto Alomar’s suspension for spitting at an umpire had been postponed for a year, so why not the World Series?

The fans were given a snow-check and told to come back in April 1999.

As my dream proceeded, the owners of all the teams got together to try to figure out a way to prevent this situation from ever reoccurring.

They called me in to suggest a solution. I reminded them that in the old days, there were two eight-team leagues and a 154-game schedule. So how about four leagues with eight teams in each and a return to the 154 game schedule?

I said it was not wise to have their million-dollar pitcher lose fingers as a result of frostbite.

I illustrated which teams might comprise each league:

THE EAST: Boston, Cleveland, Washington, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, New York Mets and the Yankees.

THE NORTH: Minnesota, Milwaukee, Detroit, Montreal, Toronto, Cincinnati, Chicago Cubs and White Sox.

THE SOUTH: New Orleans, Atlanta, Orlando, Memphis, Houston, Rangers, St. Louis and Kansas City.

THE WEST: Seattle, Phoenix, Denver, Oakland, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Anaheim and San Diego.

The owners seemed to like my idea and put it to a secret vote. After the vote, the commissioner prepared to announce the results. He pounded his gavel and I had a sinking feeling.

That’s when I woke up.