A Three for All

Isn’t Sunday supposed to be a day of rest?

Not when it’s time for the latest episode of the Hi-Tec Adventure Racing Series, a triathlon with a twist.

There are three core events-- mountain biking (12.5 miles), kayaking (two miles) and running (6.4 miles--and after each comes a mystery challenge, the cause of much pre-race speculation.

There are 76 three-person teams, each of which must include at least one woman. Last Sunday, three all-women teams competed at Castaic Lake Recreation Area.

The most important rule involved the finish line: All three team members had to cross at the same time.

7:18 a.m.

As the teams stretch, jog and test the water temperature (consensus: cold), the on-scene emcee asks a thought-provoking question: “Is anybody from Pittsburgh?” Apparently not.

7:32 a.m.

Team Chicken is preparing for the 8 a.m. start. Two of the members, Jill and Joe Ballantyne, are married. The third, Matt Benko, owns a chicken restaurant in Santa Barbara--hence the team name--and is the undisputed team clown.

“Matt’s a funny guy,” says Jill, a grade-school teacher in Carpinteria. “We expect to see him dancing during the race.”

Matt promises breakdancing and moonwalking at a later time. Sadly, he never delivers.

7:41 a.m.

Meet Team Hard Candy, an all-female entry that has something to say to the thousands of couch potatoes reclining in Southern California.

“If you’re on the sofa,” says Alma Bennett, “you’re missing out.”

7:51 a.m.

“Baywatch” star Alexandra Paul is a member of Team Jam. Her bike’s handlebars are decorated with daisies. A camera crew follows her every move. Smile.

8:08 a.m.

The race is delayed while a cameraman searches for the perfect angle at the start. He’s tottering on the back of a three-wheeler. He finds his angle. The race is about to begin.

8:09 a.m.

Michael Epstein, the director of the racing series that began last month at Moraine State Park in Pennsylvania and is about to take its second step, gives a last-minute rules recap.

His final words go to the spectators: “Cover your ears. The starting cannon is going to be loud.”

8:10 a.m.

The race begins. Competitors are actually laughing. Someone pretends to lose a shoe. Lauren Ballantyne, a non-racing member of Team Chicken, snaps pictures of her step-mom and dad. She is 12. Blessedly, the cannon has all the firepower of a popcorn popper.

8:18 a.m.

Complete with Madonna-like headset, Epstein spends a minute with the media. “Really, what you’re seeing is a new sport unfolding,” he says, pointing out how teamwork and problem-solving distinguish Hi-Tec races from a triathlon.

This is the second and final race of the series, but four races are planned for 1997.

“This is something that, hopefully, 1,000 more people will get out of bed for next year,” Epstein says.

After extracting a vow of secrecy, Epstein reveals the three mystery events.

8:26 a.m.

Publicist Lori Hall takes the media on a chase in her four-wheel drive vehicle. “Let’s go find some mud,” she says.

8:38 a.m.

Good mud found on the bike course. Bikers nowhere to be seen.

8:45 a.m.

Still no bikers.

8:46 a.m.

Bikers. The three members of The Assassins are in first place. They’re also muddy.

8:47 a.m.

Team Chicken, in second place, is next through the mud. All of their bikes are bogged down. “Major mud,” Jill says, grimacing.

9:01 a.m.

At the halfway point of the bike race, four fans cheer for the Oreos, a Valencia-based team. While on his bike, Hobbs Chababi slaps five with spectating/screaming wife Julie. The emcee dubs the fan group “The Screamers.”

9:22 a.m.

Lauren Ballantyne has taken three photos so far. “I plan on using all 24 of them though,” she says. She shows off the Buzz Lightyear watch she got for her birthday last month.

9:26 a.m.

The Assassins are the first team to finish the biking segment. They dive into the first mystery challenge and piece together a chopped-up sticker of the Hi-Tec insignia, a cross between the Nike and Asics symbols.

9:31 a.m.

Team Chicken, still in second, finishes the mystery puzzle and hits the water for the kayaking segment. Lauren yells, “Come on, Chicken.” She snaps eight photos in about 45 seconds.

9:40 a.m.

Fifth entering the water, where each team uses two kayaks, Team Hard Candy has hit hard times. Alma Bennett does OK flying solo in her kayak, but Suzanne Sonye and Cheryl Roth share the other kayak and spin in a circle. They try the “stroke, stroke” timing technique. It works. Sort of.

9:50 a.m.

Team Chicken takes the lead. Joe Ballantyne asks the media pontoon for a tow.

No, sorry.

Conscious of the $1,000 prize to the winning team, Ballantyne offers $500.

Let’s talk.

10:04 a.m.

Team P.R. Bar, one of the favorites, is in third after the kayak portion and steadies itself for the second mystery challenge: archery. Each member shoots an arrow at a target 20 yards away. Every miss means a minute in the “penalty box.”

Three minutes is the maximum, as P.R. Bar soon demonstrates. They serve their penalty and begin the final event, the run. The race is 1 hour 54 minutes old.

10:33 a.m.

The Screamers have reconvened at the kayak finish line. The Oreos, however, are hurting. One has a shoulder injury. The screaming is more subdued.

10:41 a.m.

Alexandra Paul’s team begins the archery challenge. Her arrow flies over the target . . . and the security net. A teammate makes a passing reference to Robin Hood.

10:57 a.m.

P.R. Bar has passed Chicken and is the first team to finish the run. Awaiting is the final mystery challenge: a 24-foot artificial rock with built-in toeholds and handholds. One at a time, P.R. Bar climbs, touches the top of the rock and rappels.

One of the few teams with big-time triathlon experience--Lyn Carney won the Triple Bypass in June--P.R. Bar finishes the rock segment and crosses the finish line, together of course, in 2:49:29.

11:02 a.m.

Team Chicken completes the rock discipline and finishes second. Says Joe Ballantyne: “We didn’t expect to be here.” And, from Benko: “We’re weekend warriors.”

11:24 a.m.

The rock is mobile and can be transported by truck anywhere. The owners of the rock are Eric and Robbie Elmore, husband and wife.

On May 22, they got married--on top of the rock. Eric confides that the major ingredients of the rock are concrete and Styrofoam. “Candy-coated rock,” he says.

11:32 a.m.

Hard Candy finishes 22nd, the best of the all-women’s teams. “We blew it in the water,” says Sonye, who had kayaked only once before Sunday. “Still, I’m happy.”

Noon

Alexandra Paul’s team finishes 46th. Her right knee is bleeding because of a biking slip-up, but the sticking point for her team was the kayak. “They’re dorky,” Paul said. “They’re like kids’ canoes.”

12:16 p.m.

With 50 teams finished, a rock band begins its sound check.

Non-alcoholic beer is offered, but most participants are content to suck on ketchup packets which, on closer inspection, actually contain a concentrated carbohydrate gel.

The teams have spent an average of 3 1/2 hours exerting energy on a Sunday morning. Yet the party is just beginning. This definitely isn’t Pittsburgh.