Does Shaq Have Crossover Hit? ABBA-Solutely

An ABBA fan bought a rap CD the other day after hearing it recommended by Chick Hearn.

Think about that.

An ABBA fan. Bought a rap CD the other day. After hearing it recommended by Chick Hearn.

The man couldn’t remember Chick’s words exactly--it’s hard to take notes and drive off the road in paralyzing shock at the same time--but they went something like this:

“Shaq O’Neal has a new rap CD out, and it’s pretty good,” Hearn said on a Laker radio broadcast.

“So, do you like rap?” asked partner Stu Lantz.

“Rat?”

“No, rap.”

“Did you ask if I liked rat?”

This is a true story. You should know that by now because Chick is the only man alive who calls the Laker center Shaq O’Neal.

Everyone else calls the guy either Shaq or Shaquille O’Neal.

What’s next, M.J. Jordan? Dream Olajuwon? An old-timers’ game featuring Dr. J Erving?

But that’s OK. Chick has every right to mix myth and reality in the same breath.

O’Neal does just that on his newly released CD, entitled, “You Can’t Stop the Reign,” which has no place in this column except for one thing:

Five hundred people stood outside Hollywood’s Tower Records Thursday night while waiting for O’Neal to autograph it.

Stood in the pouring rain.

Surrounded by nasty security guards.

People who wouldn’t know rap from a rat.

There was the preacher from San Dimas. The dialogue coach from Burbank. The grandmother from San Pedro.

Although paying homage to a form of music that has long seemed exclusionary because of its “coded” lyrics, the crowd was as diverse as any Los Angeles city street.

That has been the fun of having O’Neal in town; everything he does seems to involve everyone.

While the Tower security guys puffed out their chests and manhandled shivering fans, O’Neal overcame their rudeness with his charm.

Sitting in a simple sweatshirt and visor, he smiled, shook hands, posed for photos, signed everything, talked with everyone.

“He’s nice, polite, his lyrics are clean, and the kids just love him,” said Bob Reeve, the pastor who stood in the rain for 90 minutes with his two children. “Having him here is great for L.A.”

Michele Chong, the dialogue coach, said she had never purchased a rap CD in her life.

“And I don’t know if I ever will again,” she said. “But it’s about Shaq. It’s like, he’s really ours.”

And if Chick Hearn is any indication, we’ll all soon be rap masters.

O’Neal’s third CD is supposed to be his best. In music circles, experts say it will elevate him from a moonlighting basketball player to a true hip-hop hero.

“His previous rap material, he was kind of like saying, ‘Hey, I’m a basketball star, buy my album because of that,’ ” said Darryl James, editor of Rap Sheet, a Santa-Monica based hip-hop newspaper. “But on this one it’s obvious, he’s done his homework, polished his skills. It’s pretty good.”

Considering his first two efforts were ripped by critics, yet one went platinum while the other went gold, imagine how many of this one he will sell.

For the many new rap listeners who wouldn’t know good from chillin’--present company included until about 20 minutes ago--the good and bad about “the Reign.”

THE GOOD

1. You can actually hear him talk above a whisper. He shouts, snarls and laughs, three things that never happen during his purposely understated interviews and public appearances.

2. You can hear rap songs that don’t involve sex, or murder, or somebody having sex with somebody they are planning to kill.

There are more curse words in a three-sentence statement from Snoop Doggy Dog on the CD’s press release than in the entire CD itself.

3. He explains his past in ways that have never translated well to other mediums.

In one line from the song, “It Was All a Dream,” he explains his adoptive father Philip Harrison’s influence on his life like this:

But Phil came along, he brought a basketball,

‘Go to the park,

‘Get your game off, Shaq,

‘But have your butt home by dark.’

Earlier, while rapping about his childhood, the giant actually refers to his mother as “Mommy.”

Afterward, you feel you know the subject much better, and isn’t that the goal of any sort of communication?

THE BAD

1. Every 10 seconds, it seems, he talks about being the toughest man in the world, or richest man in the world, or simply king of the world.

Editor Thomas explained this by saying, “Hip-hop has its roots in old-school bragging; that’s OK to do that.”

Fine. But do we really have to hear him say, “Watch me make your girl jiggle like Jell-O?”

2. On a disc full of boasts, he makes only one basketball guarantee.

“Keep an eye on Big Shaq and put your money on the Lakers/I’m guaranteed . . . “ he says.

“To do what?” asks a background voice.

“I’m guaranteed to bring it to your face, indeed,” he says.

That much, we know.

Would it have been so tough to put something in there about an NBA championship? Free throws, maybe?

3. Mama mia, not one ABBA song in the joint.