All Those Js, and Mavericks Still Don’t Have a Shot

That giant sucking sound you hear is the Dallas Mavericks going down the drain again. Nothing seems to change for the Mavericks, whose years of bungling yielded a raft of star-spangled young players, resulting in . . .

Even bigger pratfalls?

The organization is now headed by Ross Perot’s son, Ross Jr., and looks as loony as ever. The roster has three supposedly can’t-miss prospects, also known as the three Js. In real life, they stand for Jason Kidd, Jim Jackson and Jamal Mashburn, but in practice you could throw in Jealous and Juvenile.

The team still lurks in the depths of the West. Mashburn is out again. Jackson is shooting 44%, making him the sharpshooter of the three Js. Kidd, an unreconstructed bricklayer, is at 36%.

Unrefined though their skills may be, the Mavericks retain their high spirits. Even if they don’t go together, they’re in the clubs so much, management is alarmed. The Cowboys at least won some Super Bowls before hitting the party circuit; most of these Mavericks haven’t even been to .500 yet.

Two days after they went belly up at Chicago, assistant coach Butch Beard ripped into the players, telling them their performance was embarrassing, warning them to “stop burning both ends of the candle.”

To drive home the point, the team was accompanied on a Florida trip by minority owner Frank Zaccanelli and personnel director Mark Aguirre--yes, Aguirre, whose moods so burdened the franchise when he was playing. Why him is another mystery; if Ross Jr. and Zaccanelli wanted the man who had done the most to ruin the team to help run it, why not Roy Tarpley?

As if they didn’t have enough trouble, dissension reared its ugly head (again). Kidd, still considered the franchise player but chafing at Jim Cleamons’ structured offense after running free under Dick Motta, second-guessed the new coach after a rout in Miami.

“After halftime, we didn’t make any adjustments,” Kidd said. “Did you see anything? That’s up to Coach. I don’t know what we’re doing, to tell you the truth.”

The Kidd-Jackson feud, which both have been ordered to drop, is surely bubbling under the surface. Jackson will be a free agent in 1998. Mashburn is no longer a bright prospect (“I’m afraid he’s a dead horse,” a personnel director says). And Eric Montross, for whom the Mavericks traded next year’s No. 1 pick, has been a stiff.

The Mavericks are reportedly willing to start moving out disappointments, but who’ll take them? Mashburn has five years left, worth $25 million.

Maybe it’s a Republican plot? You remember when Ross Sr. said GOP operatives tried to ruin his daughter’s wedding? One thing is sure, someone has done a job on Ross Jr.’s party.

ANOTHER HUMAN HIGHLIGHT FILM

New Jersey Net boss John Calipari is the latest to give up on Shawn Bradley, unhappy with the not-very-mad stork’s work ethic, persuaded he’s useless on their small front line.

Bradley is getting challenged nightly by all the top young jammers and making a lot of highlight films on the wrong end of dunks.

The Nets intend to sort offers until the February trade deadline. Interested suitors include the Phoenix Suns, Golden State Warriors and especially the Mavericks, who would give up Mashburn, Montross and a No. 1 if Calipari is green enough to take them.

Spindly as he is, Bradley leads the league with 4.1 blocks a game and can help a strong team. The Utah Jazz would die to get the local hero (he still goes home summers, irritating the Nets, who wanted him to stay and work out), but has nothing the Nets want. Utah people think Bradley will return when his contract is up, but that’s not until 2001.

In the meantime, Bradley sits among the puny Nets, lined up like a turkey at Thanksgiving.

“There’s only two 7-6 people in the NBA,” the Bullets’ Chris Webber said after throwing one down on Bradley. “That chance only comes around a few times a year.”

TOUGH HOUSE, TOUGH CROWD

George Karl’s son cried when the Seattle SuperSonics lost a game to the Sacramento Kings in last spring’s playoffs. Showing his family is different, new Sun Coach Danny Ainge says his seventh-grade son, Tanner, offered to lighten the mood by telling dad a joke.

“Knock, knock,” said Tanner.

“Who’s there?” asked Danny.

“Owen.”

“Owen who?”

“0 and 13.”

Said Ainge later: “I should have seen it coming.”

NAMES AND NUMBERS

The Chicago Bulls, who went 39-2 at home last season, play nine of 14 in the United Center this month and are talking about going undefeated, as they did last December. If they do, they’ll be 29-1, giving them a shot at their own record. If they get that, even the most hardened skeptic who still thinks they may fall apart (hello), will have to acknowledge they’re the best ever. . . . Oops: Dennis Rodman professes indifference at running third in rebounding behind Jayson Williams and Charles Barkley but is reportedly angry at Coach Phil Jackson for rationing his minutes. Said Jackson: “Right now we’re fine because Michael [Jordan] and Scottie [Pippen] are coming into every game with a challenge. Right now Dennis is struggling to find a direction to be challenged every game.”

Madison Square Garden boss Dave Checketts, zinging Pat Riley as best he could after the Heat routed the Knicks in New York: “About 10 games after we traded for Derek Harper, all the coaches told me he was finished. They said it was Rolando Blackman II. Dick Harter [Riley’s top assistant] came up to me and said, ‘I don’t want to be critical, but you screwed this one up.’ Then Derek Harper goes from having nothing left to one quarter away from being the MVP of the Finals.” . . . Checketts, advising Larry Johnson and Allan Houston to forget about Patrick Ewing’s feelings: “When Charles Barkley goes to a new team, he doesn’t care who he’s playing with. Barkley isn’t looking around to see who he should defer to. He just goes out there and plays.” Comment: Too bad he didn’t get Barkley, instead.

Who’s next, George Yardley? Toronto General Manager Isiah Thomas signed ex-Piston teammates John Long, 40, and Earl Cureton, 39, for “veteran leadership.” Long is so old, he has two nephews in the league (Terry Mills, Grant Long). . . . Yup, they look like Bad Boys, all right: When Long grabbed a Cavalier guard in his first game, referee Joe DeRosa called a foul, adding: “John, we don’t play that way any more.” Yelled a Cleveland fan as Cureton headed to the bench with his fourth foul: “Earl, get back in your time capsule! See you next generation!” . . . In his third game, Long made the winning shot in the closing seconds against the Washington Bullets. . . . Maybe the Lakers can be a factor next season: Barkley says only the Bulls, Rockets, SuperSonics and Jazz have title chances: “One of those four teams is going to win the championship. The only other team that could is Indiana if they get Rik Smits back.” . . . New Denver Nugget Coach Dick Motta, losing and perhaps losing it, is talking about replacing point guard Mark Jackson with Brooks Thompson, shooting guard Bryant Stith with Dale Ellis and center Ervin Johnson with 6-8 Tom Hammonds. “I’ve got to judge if there need to be lineup changes,” Motta said. “Bernie [General Manager Bernie Bickerstaff] has got to judge to see if there need to be roster changes. I’m here and I’m going to find out what we are and who we are. If it takes a body or two along the way, that’s OK.”

Danny Manning’s knees hurt, more bad news for the Suns, who have no other low-post threat and owe him $31 million over five years. “I think his knees are sore,” Ainge says. “When you’re in pain, it takes some of the fun out of the game. It makes it hard to push yourself with enthusiasm and energy. He’s worked hard, but he doesn’t have that consistent energy.” . . . Hakeem Olajuwon laughed it up after being hospitalized for the second time in two weeks because of an irregular heartbeat, called an atrial fibrillation, suggesting a cavalier attitude in circumstances that appear similar to those of Reggie Lewis and Hank Gathers. However, Houston cardiologists on the case say the circumstances are different. Gathers and Lewis died of “ventricular fibrillation,” affecting another chamber of the heart. “No athlete has ever died from atrial fibrillation,” said Dr. Tony Pacifico. “People don’t die of atrial fibrillation.” . . . San Antonio’s Avery Johnson after a respectable loss to the Bulls: “If we could get that kind of effort every night, we’d be 6-9.”