Laying Redskins to Rest

Hang the black crepe. Start playing the dirges.

The Redskins are dead this season.

Just a couple of months ago, in the afterglow of the 31-16 win over the Colts, Jack Kent Cooke sat in his box, bursting with joy and gladness, and said grandly, “We know we’re going to the playoffs; that’s as inevitable as tomorrow, but not quite as imminent.”

And who could begrudge his euphoria? The Redskins had won seven games in a row. Yes, there was some concern about the strength of schedule they had played so far--but they had the best record in the NFL. With eight games left, including two with Arizona and one with Tampa Bay, how could the Redskins not win enough games to cinch the playoffs? Most of us figured at worst they’d go 10-6.

You know what happened.

They collapsed like a Malibu stilt house when the mudslides hit.

(I would call them “choking dogs,” but it might demean those other guys, who actually make the playoffs.) The knockout blow--and it was so low it could have been from Andrew Golota--came Sunday in Arizona. Once again the Cardinals came from behind in the last quarter. Once again Kevin Butler hit a game-winning, final-play field goal. The first Cardinal game was surreal because of Boomer Esiason, who morphed into Johnny Unitas. The second was surreal thanks to a chorus of strange calls and noncalls: the Matt Turk nonpunt; the Eric Swann knees-down lateral; the Anthony Edwards catch and fumble that was called no catch, and worst of all, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou hands, Romeo? If you twisted Kent Graham’s head any farther we’d have been watching “The Exorcist.”

The good news is that for the first time in four seasons the Redskins were playing meaningful games in December. The bad news is that they lost them. With their whole season on the line in Arizona, the Redskins lost to a group that not only had no playoff incentive, but was also embroiled in a disruptive, public quarterback switch. Washington should have jumped on the Cardinals early, and demoralized them. Instead, Washington let Arizona go 69 yards in 14 plays to score their first opening-drive touchdown in 41 games! (To add insult to injury, there were 10 Redskins on the field on the touchdown play.) When the Redskins finally righted themselves, and paddled to a 23-14 lead in the third period, their offense vaporized, a condition that’s become common in the latter stages of games. Nobody in town is holding the offense to the fire, because they’re all busy torching the defense. But these past few games it’s not like anybody’s mistaking the Redskins for Griese, Kiick, Csonka and Warfield. Please don’t blame it all on Ed Simmons being out. If I let you get away with that, then next you’ll blame the bad draft picks on Simmons being out, and then it’s just a matter of time until you bring up the Lindbergh baby.

Now, 8-7 is no disgrace when it follows 3-13 and 6-10. In fact, it’s progress, which would normally be saluted. But in a town that lives by spin, I’m not sure even a maestro like James Carville could make the last half of the Redskins season into chicken salad. When you go from 1-7 to 8-7, that’s great, that’s a team on the move. But when you go from 7-1 to 8-7, that’s a team breaking down. You see, all 8-7s are not created equal.