‘Friends’ Till the End? Well, Maybe Not

“Friends.” I am so over it. And them.

That’s why I can’t work up much enthusiasm for NBC’s very special two-parter of the sitcom that used to rule the world.

Part 1, “The One Where Ross & Rachel Take a Break,” will be broadcast next Thursday. Part 2, “The One the Morning After,” is scheduled for Feb. 20.

Do you care? Somebody must. Because “Friends” is still near the top of the prime-time ratings.

Not me.

Sorry, Chandler (Matthew Perry). Forgive me, Monica (Courteney Cox), Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow), Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), Ross (David Schwimmer), what can I say? Joey (Matt LeBlanc)? Joey? I’m talkin’ to you over here, Joey.

Your time is up.

I’m beyond backlash. Way beyond. I don’t even know quite what to call it . . . maybe “dial denial” or something.

Here’s how it happens. With me, anyway. I latch onto a show like “Friends”--even though my first impression is lukewarm--give it a chance, grow to like it, then love it and finally feel invested in it.

Then it gets big. Too big. Everybody likes it. They like it more than it deserves to be liked. The press machine gets rolling and now it’s getting shoved down my throat. I feel like I’m obliged to like it. I rebel. I get extra-critical. I get churlish and miss an episode. Then two. Three. Until I lose count and don’t care anymore.

I know it’s really over when I start taking phone calls and folding laundry in the middle of original episodes because pretty soon I’m entertaining other viewing options and forgetting the show was ever on. I have to be reminded.

*

That’s where I am with “Friends.” Hey, it happens. I don’t see “Melrose Place” more than a few times a year anymore. If I do, it’s not like I’m actually watching. It’s more like rubbernecking.

Seems like it happened a lot faster with “Friends,” though.

It came to me the other night when I sat down for Tom Selleck’s special guest-star return as Richard, Monica’s really grown-up ex-boyfriend. They were having a post-breakup fling (which I thought was a yawn).

What really made my jaw drop, however, was Rachel.

“What happened to Jennifer Aniston’s hair?” I wondered. “When did I lose track of her ‘do? Is this a new ‘do?” After almost daily updates for what seemed like forever on all things “Friends”-related, here I was out of the loop.

Everything seemed unfamiliar to me. Sure, sure. Ross was still sporting his hangdog look. Joey was still dumb as a post. Phoebe was still tripping on . . . whatever.

But I knew I’d been away for a long time. I thought Rachel still worked at the coffee shop, didn’t I?

Tell me some of you aren’t having at least some of these same symptoms: You’re uncommunicative about the show; you don’t laugh as hard at its jokes as you used to; you don’t feel the same passion anymore. . . . Not sure? Want to really test your commitment?

Then watch the two-parter, which revolves around an anniversary for Rachel and Ross, a fight, another woman, a mistake and the consequences.

If, after watching both half-hours, you’re the kind of viewer who still cares about Rachel and Ross--whether they date or even live or die--well, then, you’re a better friend than I.

I’m gone.

* “Friends” airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on NBC (Channel 4).