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Punch Lines

Music Industry: Grammy-winning First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton accepting her best spoken word album award for “It Takes a Village,” expressed surprise that a tone deaf person won. “Apparently she is not familiar with Neil Young’s career,” says Johnny Robish.

* “Asked how it feels to be on top of a back-stabbing, money-grubbing, ethically challenged sector of society that is all politics, Hillary said that she likes the music business OK.” (Mike Reeder)

“The news about cloning has spawned a new Spanish rock group calling itself EWE-2. The name of the group’s debut album is ‘No Pop.’ ” (Gregg Oppenheimer)

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Back at the White House: “President Clinton is really backpedaling,” says Joe Kevany. “He says the sleepovers at the White House are a kind of extension of Habitat for Humanity.”

* “Clinton says no, it was not about money, it was about friendship. Give him $100,000, you’re his friend.” (Jay Leno)

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In Other Government News: Congress is preparing new legislation designed to ban human cloning. Says Argus Hamilton, “Human clones would be easy to spot in singles bars 20 years from now. They all have the same astrological sign--Pyrex.”

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GOP Rep. Tom A. Coburn of Oklahoma criticized NBC for showing “Schindler’s List” with its nudity and violence. “Tom is a few channels short of a cable system,” says the Cutler Daily Scoop.

Kenneth Starr argued before the Supreme Court this week on behalf of Hughes Corp. against the Clinton administration. “Next time he visits Pepperdine, Starr should wander over to the law library and learn the meaning of the phrase ‘conflict of interest.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

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Today in Business: McDonald’s fired an opening shot in the burger wars by lowering the price of featured sandwiches to 55 cents. “For the first time in the company’s history, the price of a Big Mac is less than the hourly wage of the person handing it to you,” says Bob Mills.

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* “The downside is, if you want fries they’re $14.95.” (Mills)

A bill was introduced in Congress to force the TV industry into a content-based rating system. Says the Daily Scoop, “Any show with meaningful content will be declared unsuitable for network television.”

“Lawyers for chemical heir John DuPont think they have grounds for an appeal of his murder conviction,” says Alan Ray. “They discovered he still has a lot of money.”

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Reader Ed Lane was taking his 5-year-old daughter, Amy, shopping for a birthday present for her mother. He told her they had to stop at the ATM to get some money before they went to the mall.

“Good,” Amy said. “That’s better than using our money.”


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