Writer Says Elvis Only as Good as His Backup Group

Joe Posanski of the Kansas City Star isn’t impressed that the Chiefs have signed quarterback Elvis Grbac, the former 49er.

Posanski wrote that in San Francisco, Grbac looked good mainly because he was throwing to Jerry Rice.

“It was the Joe Piscopo illusion. Joe Piscopo was funny when he was with Eddie Murphy and other ‘Saturday Night Live’ people.

“Then he went solo, and next thing you knew he was peddling weight-gaining chemicals on the Prime Sports Network.”

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Trivia time: Which four schools have won 10 of the 15 NCAA Division I women’s basketball championships?

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Some family: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “So Daryl Johnston re-signed with your heroes [Dallas Cowboys], partly because of the ‘family atmosphere’ of the organization? Of course, there are all sort of families. Charles Manson had one.”

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The Bonds rules: Former Texas Ranger Darryl Hamilton, on his new San Francisco Giant outfield partner, Barry Bonds:

“The guys on the team are helping me learn how to handle Barry. Basically, whenever he says something, you just say, ‘Yes, Barry, you’re the best in the world, man,’ and let it go.”

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Fall from grace: Terry Reed, on why his son, Neil, is transferring from Indiana:

“Neil went up there believing [Coach Bob] Knight was a godlike figure. [But] Knight was a false god. If you question him, then you’re kicked out of heaven.”

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Add Knight: Bob Verdi in the Chicago Tribune: “News: Bob Knight, Indiana basketball coach, accused of not being a nice guy.

“Views: Where did Neil Reed, the bereaved junior guard, think he was going when he packed his bags for his college of choice? Day camp?”

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Squirrel cage: Montreal Canadien Coach Mario Tremblay on acquiring Dave Manson from Phoenix: “I love crackpots.”

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Modest goal: Dan LeBetard in the Miami Herald: “Can’t wait until that big NIT championship game when players from the winning team can waggle an index finger and proclaim, ‘We’re No. 65!’ ”

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Triple-S: Phil Collier in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Veteran Toronto infielder Juan Samuel became a father recently and came up with interesting names for his son. Would you believe Samuel Samuel Samuel?”

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Any more questions? Colorado Rockies’ pitching Coach Frank Funk, when asked about the importance of starter Bill Swift’s health: “How important is breathing?”

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Looking back: On this day in 1958, Sugar Ray Robinson regained the middleweight title for a record fifth time with a 15-round decision over Carmen Basilio.

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Trivia answer: Tennessee, four; USC, Louisiana Tech, and Stanford, two each.

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And finally: Garry St. Jean on his recent firing as Sacramento King coach: “When [Vice President Geoff Petrie] called about 8:15 this morning and said, ‘Could I stop by on the way in to work?’ I didn’t think he was bringing coffee and doughnuts.”