Punch Lines

Millennium Watch: “Is the world going to get stranger and stranger with the approaching millennium? No, the world isn’t growing stranger,” says the Cutler Daily Scoop. “Strange is just growing fashionable.”

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Los Angeles Report: Voters had a clear choice in Tuesday’s mayoral election. “They could either choose less smog, less crime and less political infighting, or they could stay in L.A.” (Alan Ray)

“Beautiful here in L.A., beautiful spring weather,” says Jay Leno. “The sun came out, the flowers came out, Ellen DeGeneres came out.”

“A population study has found that last year 44,200 new people arrived in Los Angeles,” says Jenny Church. “They were full of optimism, all searching for the same thing: someplace to park.”

Los Angeles Mayor Richard Riordan has helped L.A. through some rough disasters, says the Daily Scoop: “The fires of ‘93, the earthquake of ‘94, the CBS prime time lineup of ’95. . . .”

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Money Matters: Congress returned Monday after a two-week recess with new hope for balancing the federal budget, says Jerry Perisho. “They’re going to borrow the money from Florida Marlin Gary Sheffield.”

“Liar Liar” topped $100 million, a record for a non-summer release, says Bob Mills. “Jim Carrey couldn’t be happier. He’s been advised by his accountants that it is now financially feasible for him to buy up every outstanding copy of ‘The Cable Guy.’ ”

There are only six more shopping days before April 15, Steve Voldseth advises. “If you still have shopping to do, you might want to do it while you still have money.”

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Family Ties: “A study shows that the more hours a child spends in day care, the less affectionate he is toward his mother,” says Jeff Rothpan. “It also says your kid is in day care too long when you take him home and he calls it a sleepover.”

New research indicates that heredity determines a person’s reaction to marijuana, thus the inclination to use it may be passed on genetically, says Gary Easley. “The likelihood of a child using marijuana could be determined by a blood test, or by checking the parents’ closet for an abundance of tie-dye.”

Scientists report that girls reach puberty much earlier than was previously thought. “University of North Carolina researchers found that some begin as early as 8 and develop a desire for their own credit card and telephone before learning to walk.” (Mills)

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Readers Tom and Rachel Tugend of Sherman Oaks say their 7-year-old grandson, Yaniv, and his parents arrived late for a visit after taking a circuitous route due to road construction. His grandfather asked Yaniv what happened.

“We had to take a longcut,” Yaniv explained.