If Angels Were Armed, They’d Be Dangerous

Scene And Heard. . . .

Everybody finished popping off about how much the Angels need to trade for Mark McGwire? Good.

Now stick that rotisserie guide under a sofa cushion and check out reality.

The Angels need to trade Garret Anderson for McGwire like McGwire needs another freckle.

The Angels are one trade from making a legitimate run at the American League West championship, but that isn’t it.

Reality is a team trying to survive September with a pitching rotation that includes a journeyman knuckleballer, a rookie and a guy who recently equaled his career high with his eighth win.

Reality is the need for a proven big-game pitcher like Curt Schilling (for the few big games the Phillies play).

Sure, McGwire would be nice. So would a second piece of pie.

Even without Anderson, this team has as many run producers as McGwire has forearm muscles.

What the Angels need--and what most in the clubhouse agree they need--is somebody who can produce strikes, and ground balls, and two-run games on the hot September nights when the offense scores only three.

Hitters make for fast starts in April. Pitchers win championships in September. Championships sell tickets.

The Angels can spend the overvalued Anderson only once. They should not waste him on dessert.

Buy McGwire in November.

Trade for a pitcher now.

It was fun after the Angels’ 10th consecutive victory last week to watch Bill Bavasi, the league’s hottest executive, hastily hooking up a cable to the TV in the manager’s office.

He and Terry Collins, the league’s hottest manager, then watched a late-ending Seattle Mariner loss like everyone else on the team.

Forty minutes after their game, many of the Angels were still hanging around in pieces of their uniforms.

For Disney to fail to make a move that could sustain these special moments would be as bad as making the playoffs for the first time in franchise history and then firing your head . . .

Nope. Not going there.

*

--Peter O’Malley is apparently discovering that the only thing harder than owning the Dodgers is selling them to Rupert Murdoch.

The deal is so bogged down in legal stuff that there are rumblings O’Malley may call it off.

Just as the Dodgers called off that trade that would have sent Eric Karros to the Cincinnati Reds for a group that might have included Deion Sanders, Bret Boone and Hal Morris.

Suddenly thinking, the owner has a better chance to be here next year than the first baseman.

--Let’s hear it for the Kings, slicker than their playing surface.

A team that hasn’t made the playoffs in four years raises its cheap-seat ticket prices by $5 . . . and fans are publicly thanking them.

That’s what happens when that team initially raised prices by $11.50, then dropped them after “further consideration.”

Still waiting for one of those concerned fans to ask, why raise them at all?

Still waiting for the Kings to get that creative in acquiring a scoring forward.

--Is it just me, or did the Sparks make a mistake in building their franchise around Lisa Leslie?

Is this blasphemy or is she, like, not even the most exciting player on her team?

Leslie is a wonderful ambassador and role model, arguably the most gracious and accommodating pro athlete in town.

But the zone defenses are suffocating her, and those older women just back from Europe are pushing her around.

--Then there was Sandy Alderson, who said if Tom Lasorda could get into the Hall of Fame, then famed Bay Area pitcher Lefty O’Doul also belonged there. If Alderson can get a job running a baseball team, then so can I.

--Some fool said Nick Van Exel was still in town.

--Some fool also said the Clippers have given Bill Fitch absolute power yet still made Brent Barry the focus of their ticket campaign.

--That same person called again, said the Mighty Ducks have decided that Ron Wilson was so good, it will take two people to replace him.

Lemme see if I have this straight.

In order to hire Pierre Page without compensation on Oct. 1, the Ducks are going to allow new assistant coach Don Hay to run the team during training camp.

Yet weren’t there competent assistants running the team during parts of training camp last year when Wilson was at the World Cup?

And didn’t Disney blame that arrangement for the Ducks’ early struggles?

And this is supposed to be different?

The bottom line is, several competent coaches have been available since Wilson was canned--coach of the year Ted Nolan is still out there--yet Disney decides to replace Wilson with a guy who realistically can’t show up until the first day of the season.

For the sake of Jack Ferreira’s job, it is hoped that Page is worth it.