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Getting Too Close Can Be No Picnic

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Folklorist Norine Dresser is the author of "Multicultural Manners" (Wiley, 1996). Contact her through Voices or by e-mail: norined@earthlink.net

Families hosting international college students arrange a Fourth of July picnic to give the students a taste of American culture. Since the young men and women don’t know one another, the hosts plan ice breakers. In one, players sit in a circle, receive an orange under their chins and without using their hands, pass it to the person sitting next to them. Whoever drops the orange is out of the game. In another game, teams of players with hands behind their backs, pass a candy on a toothpick held between their teeth. Judging by all the laughter, the students seem to be having a good time. Therefore, host families are shocked several days later when the head office forwards complaints about the party.

What did it mean? Most of the students were from Asian countries, where they consider it disrespectful for males and females to touch one another. During the games, the students laughed, not because they were having fun, but because they were embarrassed. Consequently, in order to avoid breaking the taboo against body contact between the sexes, some deliberately dropped the oranges and candies to disqualify themselves from playing.

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