He Sounds Like a Fine Literary Agent

What was Keyshawn Johnson thinking when he dictated an autobiography after playing in one (1) NFL season and unloaded on New York Jet teammates?

There wouldn’t be another season?

The Jets would trade everyone Johnson didn’t like?

There is another season and Johnson is back, along with quarterback Neil (“stiff puppet”) O’Donnell and wide receiver Wayne (“wouldn’t even make anybody else’s team”) Chrebet.

“Neil is still angry with Keyshawn, of course,” an unidentified Jet told the New York Times. “I think there are only a handful of guys who are not upset with what Keyshawn wrote.”

Jet wide receiver Charles Johnson, a former Steeler, says he had only a “business relationship” with O’Donnell in Pittsburgh and that Johnson would be fine.

However. . . .

“My advice to Keyshawn,” Johnson says, “would have been, don’t write the book.”

Learning his lesson? You couldn’t actually say Johnson is repentant.

“I’ve never regretted a thing in my life and never will,” he says. “I don’t think anything I ever said was untrue.”

How about “unwise” or “made you look pathetic?”

Trivia time: Who plays in the stadium in which the American League one-game attendance record was set?

Colorful name: James and Tammy Blackwell of El Sobrante, Calif., are staunch Raider fans. They’ve outfitted the newest little Raider with a Raiders’ blanket and booties.

Tammy gave birth to a baby girl Tuesday in Oakland, and the proud parents named her Silver Ann Blackwell--as in the Raider team colors, silver and black.

As Raider official Amy Trask says, it’s a good thing the Blackwells didn’t name their baby after the team motto: Commitment to Excellence.

Guess who no-showed? The Seattle SuperSonics’ Gary Payton married Monique James in a lavish ceremony in the Bay Area--without the presence of teammate Shawn Kemp.

Kemp was to be in the wedding party but told Payton two days before he wouldn’t attend. Kemp has demanded to be traded and said he wanted to avoid awkward confrontations with SuperSonic officials.

Payton’s friends said the groom was disappointed.

Trivia answer: No one. The record was set in what used to be Municipal Stadium in Cleveland, where 86,288 saw Game 5 of the 1948 World Series against the Boston Braves.

And finally: Breaking a media boycott, Steeler linebacker Greg Lloyd told Pittburgh’s WTAE-TV at last week’s exhibition in Dublin the Irish were “rude,” and complained about their food (“awful”), the room service in the hotel (“they bring you the wrong thing”) and knowledge of American football (“They don’t know who I am here. They have no idea, none whatsoever.”).

Before Ireland forms a commission to study its problems, it should note that on a Steeler trip to Barcelona for the 1993 American Bowl, Lloyd declared:

“I hate this place. . . . Everything about this place is small--the hotel rooms, all the cars are small and the people are small. And there are not enough black people here.”