Lakers in a Perfect World

Yep, the first game after his suspension, and the big lug slaps somebody else.

Himself. On the chest. Six times. After soaring into the Forum light standards to pick off a midcourt alley-oop pass from Nick Van Exel and slam it through the basket against the winded New York Knicks.

The crowd stood and roared.

Shaquille O’Neal puffed out his cheeks and roared back.

Forgiveness is a breathtaking thing.

His team unbeaten, his fans understanding, Greg Ostertag unwilling to sue, O’Neal began his Laker season Friday without one person asking for a tardy slip.

While the Lakers were defeating the New York Knicks, 99-94, O’Neal was scoring 17 points with eight rebounds in limited minutes (27) because of an abdominal strain.

Shaq’s most important stat? While he was on the court, the Lakers outscored the Knicks, 54-45.

“I hope to do well enough to make people forget about the minutes,” he said before the game.

And so he did, turning them into a series of splendid moments.

The players were not even breathing hard by the time he had set a hard pick that led to a basket, whipped a pass that led to another basket, and ducked under Patrick Ewing to score himself.

“Having Shaq out there, there’s this excitement . . . “ Robert Horry said.

During one series of plays by O’Neal midway through the second quarter, there was this:

* Blocked a Ewing shot.

* Forced Larry Johnson into a walk.

* Scored twice on spinning moves over or around Ewing.

* Dished to Van Exel for a three-pointer.

* Forced Chris Mills into a missed layup.

“I don’t know what it is, but just Shaq’s presence on the court makes it different for everyone else,” Rick Fox said.

That presence was huge again in the third quarter, not only with that alley-oop that capped a Laker run, but with a blocked shot moments earlier that led directly to another score.

He tired some in the fourth quarter, but that made sense considering it was his first game of any sort in more than two weeks. That had as much to do with his sore stomach as the slap.

Speaking of which . . .

“My image is not Mr. Perfect, my image is reality,” O’Neal said before the game. “I make mistakes.”

Last week’s was a humdinger, when he slapped Ostertag of the Utah Jazz during a morning practice session, knocking him down with such force that Ostertag lost his contact lens.

O’Neal was suspended for one game without pay and fined $10,000.

Friday morning, the Lakers showed that they had learned their lesson by requiring that the opposing teams enter the Forum court for practice through separate tunnels.

But the larger question--has O’Neal learned his lesson?--still remains somewhat unanswered.

“Jerry Buss let me have it, Sarge [O’Neal’s father] let me have it, which means one thing,” O’Neal said. “I’m not going to do something like that again.”

But does he really believe the slap was wrong?

“I usually don’t make the same mistake twice, I got grilled for this one, I will not make it twice,” he said.

So he has learned.

“But I’ll tell you one thing,” he said. “If the situation were reversed, if it was Greg Ostertag slapping me, he would be a hero.”

Come again?

“It would be big, rough Shaquille O’Neal getting knocked on his butt by Ostertag. It would be, ‘Hooray for Ostertag!’ ”

I told O’Neal I did not agree. Wrong is wrong, no matter who is slapping whom.

O’Neal told me I was wrong, and smiled like I didn’t understand.

Maybe I don’t. Maybe he still doesn’t.

Friday night proved that, at least for now, none of that matters.

Nobody is going to be questioning O’Neal’s moral compass as long as he stays out of trouble long enough to find the basket.

This seems fair. He has made enough apologies to fill both of his shoes. He has missed a game, lost a few bucks, nicked a reputation, set himself up for a couple of horrible trips to Utah.

That’s enough. It’s over. Deal with it. Everyone else is.

O’Neal walked into a locker room Friday filled with excited teammates.

“It isn’t like we all sat in here and said, ‘All right, he decked Ostertag,’ ” Fox said. “But if it happened in the middle of the season and really could have cost us something . . . “

O’Neal traded jokes with a relieved coach.

“All in all, things are a lot better than they could have been,” Del Harris said.

Then with 2:46 remaining in the first quarter, a Laker took the floor for the first time to a thundering ovation, the loudest of the night for simply an appearance.

That player was Kobe Bryant.

He made one of nine shots yet, will probably hear the same ovation the next time he takes the floor.

Yep, Shaq has lost a little bit in that area too. For now, he is no longer the most beloved player in town.

But he is also not the most ridiculed.

On this night, that would have to be enough.