Laugh Lines

* “The life expectancy for Americans is at an all-time high of 76.1 years,” says Zack Taylor, “meaning if you were born today, chances are you’d live to see the big screen version of ‘Men Behaving Badly.’ ”

* “Domestic goddess Martha Stewart moved into her new home in Maine. She’s out of her element up there. The first day, she looked out the window and ordered the gardener to rake the potpourri.” (Argus Hamilton)

* “Pete Rose will seek readmission to baseball,” says Alan Ray. “He’s confident major league officials will OK his reentry. In fact, he’s willing to bet on it.”