Epic Burgers

By now you may have heard that Tommy’s Original World Famous Hamburgers is suing a place called Original Tommy’s World Famous Hamburgers, opened by a former Tommy’s Original employee. This is nothing new to us in the Southland, of course. We know there are many burger stands with names suspiciously similar to Tommy’s, such as Tim’s, Tom’s, Tam’s, Tomy’s, Tammie’s and Thoma’s, nearly all specializing, like Tommy’s, in chili burgers. Many of these stands, including Tommy’s Original, were opened by Greeks.

In fact, historical research--and special information we have personally received from the flying saucers--indicates that the Greeks have been making chili burgers ever since the Trojan War. The chili burger-making tribes are descended from Greece’s first burger king, Agamemnon (or rather, from his steward, or tamies). All other Greek hamburger-makers trace their ancestry to Agamemnon’s rebellious lieutenant Achilles (a-chilles: literally, “without chiles” or “hold the chili”).

Believe this or not, as you choose.

Titanic Chocolates

If it will make “My Heart Will Go On” more meaningful to you, you can now get boxes of Celine Dion Celebrity Chocolates, designed as a companion product for “Let’s Talk About Love,” the CD that includes the ubiquitous theme song from “Titanic.” The caramel-filled chocolates are shaped like hearts and musical notes. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Grammy in the Schools program for advancing music education. So if this is your sort of thing, check out mass-market retailers like Kmart, Sam’s Club and drugstores.

Anniversary on a Stick

This summer is the 75th anniversary of the Popsicle. The story goes back to 1905, when an 11-year-old lad named Frank Epperson discovered that a sweet soda mixture froze onto a stirring stick overnight (this was pure chance; that night happened to set a record for low temperatures in San Francisco). But it wasn’t until August 1923 that Epperson applied for a patent on the Popsicle.

Because of the way the Popsicle originated, you might think that the “pop” part of the name refers to soda pop. But Good Humor/Breyer’s, which makes Popsicles, says that Epperson’s children named it “pop’s sicle.” He had been thinking of calling it the the Epsicle, for “Epperson icicle.”