For Santa, It Beats Cookies and Milk

A potential juror asked a Superior Court judge to be excused from duty because it was his busy time of the year, reports court public information officer Jerrianne Hayslett. Judge Peter D. Lichtman asked the portly, white-haired gent what he did. The man replied that he plays Santa Claus--and showed photos to prove it. Hayslett says the judge then saluted him and said, “I don’t rule against Santa Claus or Mickey Mouse.” The jolly old elf was released from duty--until after the holidays.

This Santa better not claim he’s at his North Pole address.

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JUMPING OFFSIDES: OK, it doesn’t compare to the Chicago Tribune declaring Dewey the winner over Truman in the 1948 presidential election. But Irwin Zucker came across an ad placed in a weekly newspaper by a Beverly Hills store that congratulated UCLA’s football team for defeating the University of Miami Hurricanes before the opening kickoff had taken place.

Actually, the Bruins were tamed (can you tell I once was a sportswriter?) by a 49-45 score on Saturday.

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NO OVERSELL HERE: Ed Schoenberg came across a restaurant that appeared to be boasting that it had no special stuffed shrimp or prime rib. Actually, as all you Sherlock Holmes types deduced, the marquee was supposed to say “NOV SPECIAL.”

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LOW BLOW FOR OJAI: When actress Ellen DeGeneres announced that she and partner Anne Heche are getting out of Hollywood and moving to either San Francisco or Ojai, San Francisco Examiner columnist Rob Morse appealed for the duo to choose the City by the Bay so DeGeneres could run for mayor.

As for the other city, Morse said, “Ojai, what’s that? A sport played in Miami?”

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LOW CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS: The crime log of the Los Alamitos-based News-Enterprise included the following police calls:

* “A dead mouse or rat that the resident thought was thrown at her front door was actually brought by her cat.”

* “Two men allegedly trying to pick the lock of a newly vacated house . . . turned out to be the new tenants.”

* “Loud cars with loud music and possibly a live band were reported.”

I guess the live band in the car was playing a road engagement.

miscelLAny:

Darla Moyer-Sims spotted an unusual “Catch of the Day” advertised at an eatery on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica--”Pepperoni Pizza.” Then, again, she reasoned, “I guess when you throw the dough up in the air you need to catch it when it comes down.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles 90053.