This Golfer Left the Course Really Teed Off

Did you ever want to regard an entire day as a mulligan and start over? You would if you were Tom Borsello, 44, of Wilmington, Del.

According to Golf Journal, Borsello pulled into the parking lot at the NCR Country Club in Dayton, Ohio, to play in the recent U.S. Mid-Amateur. He had an 8 a.m. starting time.

After fiddling with his clubs, he slammed shut the trunk of his rental car, only to discover that his keys were in his golf bag, which were also in the trunk.

Unable to find a tool that might help jimmy open the lock, he resorted to stronger measures. He smashed open the rear window (estimated repair cost: $212). After securing his keys and the clubs he needed, he installed a crude patch of duct tape over the broken window.

He hit a few quick practice putts and went to the tee--where he discovered he had misread his starting time. His 8 o’clock tee time was for the next day.

Lamented Borsello: “I just want to go back to the hotel and start all over again.”

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Trivia time: Other than USC and UCLA, which Pacific 10 schools have produced Heisman Trophy winners?

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Too complicated: From comedy writer Alan Ray: “Don’t ask the NFL refs about the playoff picture. They can’t make heads or tails of it.”

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Big spenders: With Florida State playing in the Fiesta Bowl, the Orange Bowl matchup will be Florida and Syracuse. Orange Bowl officials were wary of Florida State, according to ESPN’s Beano Cook:

“Their fans are a little tight. They bring $20 and a shirt and change neither.”

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He’s back: Bob Ford of the Philadelphia Inquirer on the return of Darryl Dawkins (“the former professor of Interplanetary Funkmanship”) to basketball to coach the Pennsylvania ValleyDawgs of the United States Basketball League:

“A coach once said of the 6-11, 285-pound Dawkins: ‘Biggest waste of space since Greenland.’ ”

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Only hope: Joe Knowles in the Chicago Tribune: “The Bears are the only team in the NFL that possibly could shut down hotshot Viking rookie Randy Moss. Of course they would have had to draft him first.”

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Capturing the audience: The late Archie Moore once explained why he liked to speak at prisons: “Because nobody walks out in the middle of my speech.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1979, Swen Nater of the San Diego Clippers set an NBA record for most defensive rebounds in one half with 18 against Denver.

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Trivia answer: Oregon State, Terry Baker, 1962, and Stanford, Jim Plunkett, 1970.

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And finally: Evan Grant in the Dallas Morning News on pitchers whose first names rhyme with their last:

“Turk Burke (0-1 in 1887), Ed Head (27-23 from 1940-46), ‘Still’ Bill Hill (36-39 from 1886-99), Bill McGill (1-0 in 1907), Cy Pieh (9-9 from 1913-1915) and our favorite--and we promise we are not making this up--Heinie Meine, who went 66-50 from 1922-1934.”