Peace, Goodwill and Real Butter

Hank Hill, star of the hit television cartoon “King of the Hill” (8 p.m. tonight on Fox) is the quintessential ‘50s father trying to make his way in a more complicated modern world. What do he and his wife, Peggy, son Bobby and live-in niece Luanne have planned for the holidays? One of the show’s writers hooked us up with the Hills recently . . . :

Question: What do you believe is the true meaning of Christmas?

Hank: I believe it signifies the birthday of Jesus Christ. And I must say, I’m a little surprised you don’t have a fact checker that could answer something so basic.

Q: What’s on the top of your wish list for Santa?

Bobby: I’d like a home theater system. If that’s too expensive, I’ll settle for just the popcorn maker. With the “real butter” pump.

Peggy: Peace and goodwill. And I guess I could use some new Isotoners.

Luanne: There’s one book in the “Sweet Valley High” series I haven’t read, where the twins go to college and then fall in love. I love love.

Hank: Well, I guess I want anything, really, as long as it’s made in America. So I guess that leaves one of them new twenties.

Q: What’s your ideal song for the holidays?

Peggy: “Feliz Navidad,” which in English means “feel happy,” as in “Feel happy. It’s Christmastime.”

Bobby: I kinda like Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song.” It’s so funny, even he can’t get through it without laughing.

Hank: For my money, there’s nothing funnier than dogs barking “Jingle Bells.”

Q: What’s on the menu for the Hills’ holiday dinner?

Peggy: I’ll field this one. We will be having a traditional Christmas dinner, the recipe of which is a closely held secret. You take a . . . I’ve already said too much.

Bobby: I can answer that in six words: sugar cookie, sugar cookie, sugar cookie.

Hank: With the Blue-Gray game on the tube, who has time to eat?

Q: What family traditions do the Hills observe?

Hank: Every year my son Bobby puts out a big plate of sugar cookies and a tall glass of milk for Santa Claus, and in the morning, they’re all gone, because Bobby eats them before Santa can come.

Peggy: I let everyone open one present on Christmas Eve and then I let them write one thank-you note.

Q: Is having a white Christmas important to you?

Peggy: It would be nice to go skiing, but in Texas, it only snows in the flat parts. God’s cruelest irony, I guess.

Hank: I’ll tell you what’s important to me--having a safe Christmas. People, please don’t let those trees dry out.

Q: If you were in Bethlehem at the miracle birth, what gift would you bring the Baby Jesus?

Hank: Myrrh. I know that’s what somebody else brought him, but around the holidays, you can’t have too much myrrh. And a bouncy seat.