Just Chalk It Up to Cardinal Knowledge

A review of Week 16 in the NFL, one week to go, and while it’s a word never used in the same sentence with Arizona Cardinal owner Bill Bidwill before, it was pure genius.

Before the season began, Bidwill approved trading the Cardinals’ second position in the draft to the Chargers for San Diego’s first two picks in 1998, No. 1 in 1999, kick returner Eric Metcalf and linebacker Patrick Sapp so San Diego could live or die with Ryan Leaf.

Normally, Bill Bidwill has this look on his face that he doesn’t know what day of the week it is, but this time he was looking ahead, and now the only thing standing between the Arizona Cardinals and the playoffs for the first time in a nonstrike season since 1975 is the San Diego Chargers and possibly Ryan Leaf.

No giggling, please.

San Diego Coach June Jones will announce Wednesday which quarterback will lose for him this week: Leaf or Craig Whelihan.

Imagine how the New York Giants and Tampa Bay Buccaneers feel right now; they have to have Arizona lose to have a chance to make the playoffs, which means their season now rides on Leaf, who has two touchdowns, four fumbles and 15 interceptions, or Whelihan, with 13 interceptions in his last four games.

And there’s more madcap Bidwill brilliance to this move made in March. The Cardinals do not only make the playoffs at 9-7 with a victory, positioning themselves to win their first playoff game since 1947, but because they have San Diego’s pick in the first round in addition to their own, they could select as high as No. 8.

More Bad News

If the Buccaneers and Giants are counting on a new and improved Leaf for the season finale, according to Leaf’s teammates, forget it.

After Sunday’s loss to Oakland, the San Diego Union-Tribune reported that several unnamed teammates of Leaf’s said he had reported late for team meetings, fallen asleep in others and only gone through the motions in practice since being benched earlier this season.

How bad do some of the Chargers feel about Leaf? They would prefer Whelihan, 2-11 as a starter in the NFL and loser of four in a row.

Bidwill Mania

The big guy can do no wrong. Passing on Leaf, he stayed with Jake Plummer, signing him Monday to a $29.7-million contract extension keeping him with the Cardinals through 2002.

According to the Associated Press, the Cardinals allowed fans at team headquarters to attend the news conference.

“This is the 1998 Cardinals’ Christmas present to fans,” Bidwill said.

Ho, ho, ho.

Does It Matter?

The Green Bay Packers have to defeat the Chicago Bears--no sweat--and the St. Louis Rams have to defeat the San Francisco 49ers--ah, that could be a problem--for the Packers to open the playoffs at Lambeau Field.

But what’s the big deal? If they have to travel, they go to San Francisco--a nice winter trip for anyone employed in Green Bay--and they get a guaranteed win and a rematch most likely with the Minnesota Vikings.

The 49ers can’t beat the Packers, no matter where the game is played. They lost this season at Lambeau Field, lost at 3Com Park in last season’s NFC championship game, lost the postseason before that in Green Bay, again in Green Bay during the regular season, in 1995 at 3Com Park in the playoffs, well, you get the picture.

Parity Bulletin

A year ago the New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers, Kansas City Chiefs, Packers, 49ers and Giants all won division titles.

Not one of them repeated this season with the New York Jets, Jacksonville Jaguars, Denver Broncos, Vikings, Atlanta Falcons and Dallas Cowboys taking their places. It’s the first time for such a dramatic changing of the guard since 1992--the only other time since the 1970 AFL-NFL merger that at least one division champion failed to repeat.

Suddenly Stupid

Keeping in mind that Barry Switzer coached a team to a Super Bowl win, yes, anything can happen in the NFL:

* For the first time in Bobby Ross’ professional coaching career, his team is guaranteed of finishing below .500.

* For the first time since being hired in 1992, Pittsburgh Coach Bill Cowher’s team has not qualified for the playoffs.

* For the first time since becoming a head coach in Cleveland in 1984, Marty Schottenheimer’s team will not finish at least .500.

Stats to Ponder

Detroit wide receiver Herman Moore reached 600 career receptions faster than any other player in NFL history, including Jerry Rice. Moore did it in his 118th game, Rice in his 123rd, and consider the difference in some of the quarterbacks pitching the balls: Scott Mitchell, Charlie Batch, Rodney Peete and Erik Kramer versus Joe Montana and Steve Young. . . . Cincinnati has won three games this season--two against Pittsburgh. The Bengals don’t play Pittsburgh again, so they could finish 3-13 for the fourth time in the ‘90s. . . . Indianapolis running back Marshall Faulk missed a team meeting, was benched to start Sunday’s game and responded by running 13 times for 19 yards and fumbling, the ball being recovered and returned for Seattle’s winning touchdown.

After losing offensive coordinator Jon Gruden to become head coach of the Raiders, the Philadelphia Eagles never recovered, failing to score 20 points in 14 of 15 games this season. . . . The Cowboys, who will play a first-round playoff game at home against the Cardinals, Giants or Buccaneers, have scored 33 points in their last three games. . . . The Chargers are really excited this year because they haven’t allowed an opponent to rush for 100 yards, although they have allowed 10 opponents to beat them.

Break His Hand

If you have a struggling quarterback on your roster, the cure is obvious: Break his finger or wrist.

Cincinnati quarterback Jeff Blake, breaking a bone in his wrist in the first half against Pittsburgh, went on to play one of his best games, throwing for 367 yards and a touchdown.

“I wasn’t even thinking about it,” said Blake, who might not play this week. “In the heat of the battle, there’s no pain. I thought it was a sprain or a bad bruise.”

After New England quarterback Drew Bledsoe broke two bones in his index finger on his throwing hand, he played his best football, leading the Patriots to two comeback victories before being forced to the sideline to allow the finger time to heal.

Go ahead, Ryan, hold still--just put out your hand--it won’t hurt much.