Now the Joke Is on Opponents of Missouri

Joe Posnanski of the Kansas City Star writes that the University of Missouri’s football program was a shambles a few years ago and a subject of in-state jokes, such as:

“Riddle: Why did Larry Smith come out of retirement to coach Missouri?

“Answer: Because he did not want to get back into football.”

However, Smith, the former USC coach, has turned the once moribund program around. Missouri has had 7-4 and 8-4 records the last two seasons.

Three of the four losses this season were close, six points or less, to such powers as Texas A&M;, Nebraska and Kansas State.

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Trivia time: What is the record in the Pacific 10-Big Ten rivalry in the Rose Bowl?

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Diapers needed? From Charlie Just, men’s basketball coach at Bellarmine College in Louisville, Ky., on his team’s inexperience:

“We’re so young, we’ve decided to dress only seven players on the road. We’re pretty confident the other five can dress themselves.”

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Soft-drink hangover: Today is the 40th anniversary of what has been called “The Greatest Game Ever Played”--the Baltimore Colts’ 23-17 overtime victory over the New York Giants for the NFL championship.

Art Donovan, a guard on that Colt team, has a different take on this supposedly epic game:

“We see pictures all the time of teams celebrating a championship with champagne toasts, right?

“You know what they served us on the way back to Baltimore? Orange soda. Orange soda, for gosh sakes.”

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Shocked: Bob Verdi of the Chicago Tribune on the Olympic bribery scandal: “Our first reaction was, this cannot be! Take my wallet, take my car keys, take my Sarajevo survival kit.

“But don’t take my Olympics and deposit them in the same sewer other sports wallow.”

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Big gap: Bob Ryan in the Boston Globe: “Drew Bledsoe-Rick Mirer was one thing, but the early returns suggest that the Peyton Manning-Ryan Leaf gap may be the most important 1-versus-2 discrepancy since it was a choice between then-Lew Alcindor and Neal Walk 29 years ago.”

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Duck! John Crumpacker in the San Francisco Examiner: “Here’s Baltimore quarterback Jim Harbaugh, wondering if he’ll be gone when a new coach comes in next season: ‘The ax swings, you hope you’re below it.’ ”

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Trivia answer: The conferences are tied, each with 26 victories.

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And finally: The Phoenix Coyotes woke up in their Detroit hotel with no heat and no hot water. Russian-born defenseman Oleg Tverdovsky laughed off the complaints of his teammates:

“You guys should have been with me in Russia. Me and a friend were sent to the Sports Academy, and when we checked into the room, there were two windows but no glass in them.

“There was snow inside the room and on one of the beds. And we didn’t have hot water to shower with the whole year. No kidding.”