Ontario Takes Its Share of Knocks

It is, of course, a civic sport around the nation to knock Los Angeles, one that was already in full swing early this century when author H. L. Mencken called L.A. “Moronia.”

But I had never heard of an attack on Ontario, of all places, until I received a letter from Cathy Sevier of nearby Claremont.

She enclosed the Jan. 20 online version of the Weather Channel’s report for Ontario, which was described as a “Bad City” more than 30 times (see excerpt). Even Mencken would have found that a bit excessive.

I phoned the Weather Channel folks in Atlanta and asked them about the page.

After learning what it said, a spokeswoman’s first words were, “Oh, no.” She said that there had been some sort of snafu, adding, “we have a huge data feed with 1,700 cities.” But she couldn’t explain the use of the words “bad city.”

She did, however, want to make one thing clear. “We like the city,” she emphasized.

OK, but don’t expect Ontario to give you a key to the city.

SPEAKING OF CIVIC INSULTS: It was bad enough that Rodeo Drive ranked just seventh on a list of the world’s most expensive boulevards released by property broker Equis Corp. Real estate on Rodeo rents for a paltry $300 per square foot, which puts it on the wrong side of the tracks compared to New York’s top-ranked 5th Avenue ($580).

And, adding to the shame, Rodeo was listed as being in Los Angeles. Look for the boulevard’s rents to really fall now.

AD WITH A POINT: Completing this column’s trilogy of “ . . . in Rear” sign art--you’ll recall “Nails in Rear” and “Kick Boxing in Rear”--I bring you Ruben Martinez’s shot of a tattoo notice in a Silver Lake shop (see photo).

PRE-FAME DAYS: Monica Lewinsky is the latest of a long line of former Santa Monica College students who became newsmakers.

Others who attended the two-year institution include actors James Dean and Arnold Schwarzenegger, singer Rickie Lee Jones, basketball star Sidney Wicks, Rams receiver Isaac Bruce and astronaut Walter Cunningham.

And, too, there was actor Dustin Hoffman, who, by coincidence, can be seen in “Wag the Dog,” a movie about presidential advisors trying to cover up some hanky-panky by the naughty boy in the White House.

Oh, yes. Santa Monica College spokesman Bruce Smith said one other headliner attended the school: Heidi Fleiss.

miscelLAny:

P. W. Mooney e-mailed me that he was in a Torrance restaurant Wednesday morning, one booth away from two CHP officers, when “literally, while I’m reading your column,” a CHP dispatcher could be heard on their radio. There was an animal loose near the junction of the Harbor and San Diego freeways.

Mooney heard the dispatcher say, “Unidentified dog in the right lane.” Added Mooney: “Unidentified dog? Even the cops laughed.”