We Think We’ll Just Have Water

The wisecracks are still pouring in about the L.A. County Sanitation District’s snack bar, which was briefly shut down for two health code violations, including vermin infestation. “I guess,” observed Mike Blumenthal of Monrovia, “some people just can’t change clothes when they come in from work.”

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BON APPETIT! Our Only in L.A. Dining Guide--like the previous item--offers some plates that could well curb your (and my) calorie intake. Let’s start with some virtual pizza, which was spotted by Jack Nelson of Culver City (see photo). Carrot doesn’t seem like an exciting ingredient, but I suppose with the virtual variety one topping’s pretty much like another (though I’d still be afraid of virtual anchovies).

Charbroiled bee (is the stinger removed?) is another nonfattening item. A weathered variety of tomato was found by Louis Cantabrana. And Jackie Walker of Monrovia doesn’t even want to know what baby “leaks” are (see accompanying).

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DIDN’T CATCH THE NAME . . . Adding to this column’s list of celeb kids with creative names, Mark Featherstone pointed out that the offspring of actors Bruce Willis and Demi Moore include Rumer, Scout and Tallulah.

And Paul Young of Inglewood recalled reading years ago that singer Grace Slick named her daughter God.

No doubt Young did read that, but Slick’s daughter says it’s an urban myth.

She told The Times a few years ago that the rumor arose because of a joke Slick made after giving birth.

“When I popped out,” her daughter said, “the nurse was this sort of religious type. In this cutesy voice, she says, ‘And what are you naming your baby?’ And my mom, being my mom, says wryly, ‘We’re naming her god, but with a small “g” out of respect.’ ”

The real first name of Slick’s daughter?

China.

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AT LEAST I GOT THE OCEAN RIGHT: The other day I said that “Entertainment Tonight” producer Bonnie Tiegel would appreciate a photo from anyone who snapped a photo of her on the beach alongside a seal that had waddled up to her blanket. Only I said the incident occurred at Malibu when it happened at Santa Monica. Again, the address of the television show is 5555 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, Calif. 90038. I blame my poor geography on TV’s “Baywatch,” which sometimes refers to stretches of Santa Monica as Malibu.

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ANOTHER SHAKY COLUMN ITEM? I’m hearing some quibbles about the “Trucker’s Glossary” of terms compiled by the National C.B. Handle Registry. It identifies “Shaky” as a synonym for L.A., owing, of course, to the many quakes that strike here.

One trucker said the full term should be “Shaky City.”

Stan Schwarz, meanwhile, pointed out that the lyrics to the C.W. McCall song “Convoy” (1976), contain still another variation:

We were headin’ for bear on eye-one-oh (I-10)

‘Bout a mile out of Shaky-Town.

Finally, Stephanie Schoelzel wrote: “I was a frequent user of a CB in the early through late ‘70s (did a great deal of cross-country traveling then) and at that time, ‘The Big Shaky’ meant San Francisco.”

That’s one distinction I’d be happy to grant the City by the Bay.

miscelLAny:

State DMV records show that 107 vanity plates contain the SMOG configuration, including IH8SMOG, OOOSMOG, OOSMOG, OSMOG, PUSMOG, SMOGUGH and SMOGTWN. I wonder if SMOGTWN is near Shaky-Town.