Punch Lines

Oh, You Doll: Mattel announced it will buy Pleasant Co., the nation’s second-largest doll maker, and will make a Dennis Rodman doll. “They’re just not sure if he’ll be dressed like Ken or Barbie.” (Earl Hochman)

Save the Sea: President Clinton announced the extension of a ban against offshore drilling in an effort to protect the ocean. “Clinton wrapped up the announcement on an important note, reminding everyone that without the ocean, there would be no ‘Baywatch.’ ” (Mark Efman)

The Pain Channel: “In light of the thousands watching a live birth on the Internet, anesthesiologists at a Northridge hospital have rescinded their cash-in-advance policy in favor of pay-per-view.” (Werner S. Haas)

Daddy Dearest: “A woman gave birth on the Internet. They had a hookup and a commentator. And if that wasn’t sensational enough--as the doctor handed the baby to the proud papa, Jerry Springer appeared and brought out the real father.” (Bill Maher)

Slow Burn: “In Boulder City, Nev., the Gold Strike casino was destroyed by fire. Firefighters said they could have put the fire out sooner, but all the available water had already been used in the free drinks.” (Jay Leno)

Disasters: Tornadoes, brush fires, flooding and draught bombarded the U.S. this month from coast to coast. “It’s becoming a political issue. This week, Al Gore called for less violence on the Weather Channel.” (Argus Hamilton)

Ripe Ones: “American Film Institute voters included actors, producers, directors and even Bill Clinton. Everyone voted for the movie that, for them, captured what life is all about. Clinton’s choice was ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.’ ” (Hamilton)

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Films the AFI Neglected: A list of movies that did not make it into the American Film Institute’s Top 100, from Steve Voldseth:

* Ru Paul’s “The African American Queen”

* Farrah Fawcett’s “One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

* “Close Encounters of the Oval Office Kind.”

* “The Treasure of Sierra Viagra.”

* “Doctor Zhivorkian”

* “Madonna and the Seven Dwarfs”

* “Marv Albert, Bonnie and Clyde”

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.