It Might Be His Attempt to Make All-Writer Team

Having some fun, Phil Jasner of the Philadelphia Daily News has assembled some oddball NBA teams. Here’s his “All-Job Team”:

Mitchell Butler, Cleveland; Anthony Mason, Charlotte; Terry Porter, Minnesota; Tony Farmer, Charlotte; Johnny Taylor, Orlando; Karl “the Mailman” Malone, Utah; Vin Baker, Seattle. Special category: Charles Outlaw, Orlando.

Now his “All-Food Team”: Glen Rice, Charlotte; Dell Curry, Charlotte; Michael Curry, Milwaukee; DeJuan Wheat, Minnesota; Darvin Ham, Washington.

There’s also an “All-Religion Team,” but he came up a little short: God Shammgod, Washington; Priest Lauderdale, Denver, and Mark Pope, Indiana.

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Trivia time: Who holds the men’s Division I NCAA basketball tournament record for most three-point field goals in a game?

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Clip and save: When asked by Mark Purdy of the San Jose Mercury News for his sleeper pick in the men’s NCAA basketball tournament, California Coach Ben Braun said, “Eastern Michigan. Quote me on that.”

OK, we will. Braun may be slightly biased. He coached Eastern Michigan for 11 years before becoming Cal’s coach in 1996.

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New career? Marcus Allen is being “looked at” by CBS Sports as an analyst for the network’s return to NFL telecasts this fall.

Allen, who turns 38 on March 26, has one year left on his Kansas City Chiefs’ contract at a base salary of $900,000. Allen has said he would like to return in 1998.

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Trash II: Co-columnists Vartan Kupelian and Mike O’Hara of the Detroit News have a simple resolution to the problems surrounding the U.S. hockey team’s trashing incident in Nagano:

“At the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City in four years, just let the Japanese hockey team trash a dorm room and everything will be even.”

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Cautious approach: Brian Williams of the Detroit Pistons on how he approached his meeting with the Lakers’ Shaquille O’Neal last Sunday:

“The only thing I know is not to get him angry before the game. You don’t need to give a Brahma bull any more incentive to run over you.”

Angry or not, Shaq ran over the Pistons anyway, scoring 32 points as the Lakers won, 96-89.

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Looking back: On this day 1966, Johnny Longden won the San Juan Capistrano Handicap at Santa Anita aboard George Royal in the last race of his 40-year career. He retired with 6,032 victories, a record at the time.

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Trivia answer: Jeff Fryer of Loyola Marymount with 11 against Michigan in the 1990 West Regionals.

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And finally: A bird has been sitting in her nest atop the bullpen phone in the outfield of the Cincinnati Reds’ spring training camp in Sarasota, Fla.

A sign made by players near the phone reads: “Please leave the birds alone, sincerely, God.”

Instead of using the phone from the bullpen to the dugout when pitchers are to be sent to the field, coaches are using hand radios.