For Those Who Use the Drive-Through

Vartan Barsegyan received a flier that said, “Oil change with free In & Out Burger in Burbank Jiffy Lube.”

And let’s hold the greasy-burger jokes.

BUSINESSMEN AND MENTAL TELEPATHY: A press release from a group called the Inner Peace Movement says that a rep is in town to speak on such subjects as “life after death, universal energy, mystical communication, woman’s intuition, businessman’s hunch. . . .”

Whoa! I realize it’s the 1990s and “woman’s intuition” might seem sexist if it wasn’t accompanied by an equivalent concept for males. But “businessman’s hunch”? I’ve heard some real bad hunches expressed by businessmen sitting at bars. In fact, I’ve expressed some bad ones myself.

L.A. INSULT OF THE WEEK: John Price found it in the novel “Starship Titanic” by Terry Jones:

“Lucy had a good brain even though she had lived all her life in L.A. Despite the continual exposure to carbon monoxide and people from the film industry, she had remained smart.”

The author raises a good point: Should an alert be declared when there are too many film people in L.A. on a given day?

ATTENTION--DENNIS RODMAN: Bob Steinbrinck of Riverside noticed a very specific requirement for a women’s golf tournament at the Palm Springs Country Club (see accompanying). You can be sure tourney officials will be paying close attention in case they discover any entrants who have a businessman’s hunch.

MAMA MIA! Doug Stokes of Duarte sent along a wrapper from a “European-style” package of lettuce that was labeled “Salade de France” as well as “All American Salad” (see accompanying).

MEAL IN A GLASS: This column declared the other day that a Long Beach restaurant qualified as a true beach eatery because it offers Tequila Chicken. Little did I know that that city’s Mum’s restaurant goes one better. Mum’s offers “lime-marinated” Tequila Chicken.

MAFIA DELICACY? Stuart Rosenberg of L.A. saw a menu entry under “pastas” that was supposed to say “fusilli with ragout.” Only it said “fusilli with rubout.”

THUMBS UP! Regarding Mayor Riordan’s choice of a nickname for this area’s high-tech industry, Paul Stemmler of Commerce writes: “As a peace officer in L.A. County, I am fully aware of the increase in freeway incidents, commonly referred to as ‘road rage,’ precipitated by one or both drivers using ‘hand and finger gestures’ to express their displeasure. It is, then, entirely appropriate that the mayor has seen fit to select the nickname Digital Coast.”

PERHAPS THE KID TAKES AFTER GRANDPA, INSTEAD: I saw this bumper sticker on the Santa Monica Freeway: “Your kid may be student of the month, but you’re a moron!”

I resisted making the Digital Coast sign in reply.

STILL KICKING: Mention was made here that actress Sarah Bernhardt had her leg amputated after a car accident in L.A. earlier this century. The book “Dear Wit: Letters From the World’s Wits” by H. Jack Lang reports that after the operation, Bernhardt received a letter saying, “We offer you $100,000 to exhibit your leg at our Exposition in Buffalo.”

To which the actress responded: “Which one?”

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If this column seems disoriented today it’s because of that report of an asteroid heading Earth’s way in 2028. I just haven’t been able to concentrate. Already scientists are predicting that such a catastrophe would lead to an extinction of dinosaur movies.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.