Fast, Furious and Funny, a Decade Is Left in the Dust
There’s construction up ahead for Street Smart, which for nearly a decade has answered readers’ queries and complaints about transportation in Orange County. That column will be replaced by a new one next week, one that will still rely on reader input and will continue to address one of Southern California’s most universal concerns: the daily commute.
In the meantime, here’s a look at some of the most memorable items from Street Smart’s past.
WORTH A DOUBLE TAKE?: When asked to recollect the most bizarre behavior he’d observed on the job, one CHP officer recalled this innovative driver. The problem: a broken accelerator cable. His solution: persuading his wife to ride on the bumper while manually operating it. “My eyes just got buggy” is how Officer Don Dugan described his reaction to seeing the woman’s legs dangling out from under the hood as the car sped along the Santa Ana Freeway. Dugan’s solution? “I cited them for stupidity.”
SERVICE WITH A SMILE: A Caltrans worker overseeing a cleanup project spotted a wallet lying near the center divider of the Costa Mesa Freeway. “I ran out and picked it up,” Charlotte Chavez said. She turned over the billfold--and the $100 inside--to a supervisor. Seems the owner had absent-mindedly placed the wallet on the roof of her car while pumping her gas in Costa Mesa, and was in Albuquerque before realizing her mistake. Using the identification in the wallet for clues, Caltrans returned it to her.
ANOTHER REASON TO SLOW DOWN: A reader brought us this revelation: If you run over debris on the freeway and damage your car, you have broken the law. It was a lesson he learned the hard way, when told his insurance claim would result in a mark against his driving record and increased premiums. Why? According to the state traffic laws, if you can’t avoid hitting something, well, then, you’re driving too fast.
LOOK MA, NO SHOES: Despite what California mothers have been telling their kids for generations, there is absolutely no law against driving barefoot. “It probably falls under what you would call an urban myth,” a CHP spokesman said.
YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME! There was a time, dear readers, when Street Smart was the darling of truck drivers everywhere after a column pointing out that, statistically speaking, they’re better drivers than the rest of us. A national trucking magazine picked up the piece and voila!, cards and letters came pouring in from all over the country commenting on the column’s sudden attack of wisdom. “Thank you,” one woman gushed, “for telling the truth about truckers.”
GLAD WE GOT THAT SETTLED: Street Smart once quoted a California Highway Patrol officer advising drivers making left turns to end up in the lane closest to the one from which they turned. Wrong! And more than 50 readers wrote to point out that, in fact, drivers turning left can legally turn into any lane going the correct direction. “I know you’re not Dear Abby, but your answer . . . really concerned me,” one letter began.
WHAT’S IN A NAME? The main plaza on the San Joaquin Hills toll road is called Catalina View Plaza. This despite the fact that it faces away from the coastline and is tucked behind several large hills. The misnomer is blamed on the creative excesses of the project’s early surveyors, who did enjoy some breathtaking ocean vistas. Later realignments obliterated that view, but not the name.
IF THIS IS A JOKE, I’M NOT LAUGHING: Excuses for speeding? You’ve got millions. But how’s this for creative: One suspected speeder questioned the validity of the radar used to nab him. “Your honor,” the defendant said earnestly, “I saw the officer, and just at the minute he picked up the radar gun, I spit out the window. I think what the radar picked up was the speed of my spit.” The judge struggled to keep his composure and then found him guilty.
OK, SO P.C. WE’RE NOT: One reader griped about cars that appear to be driverless. “Upon passing, we look and see a tiny head, apparently viewing the road through the steering wheel. This has got to be dangerous.” At least one small person--make that vertically challenged--wrote to complain about the uh, oversight.
BUT HE’S LIKE FAMILY!: A reader wanted to know whether she could drive in the carpool lane with a dog as her only passenger. The reply: Sure, if you don’t mind the $271 ticket. “We get this question all the time,” CHP spokeswoman Sandra Houston said.
