Punch Lines

Over the Hill, 90210: Fox is looking at replacing “Beverly Hills, 90210” next year. “One option is to continue under a different name: ‘Leisure World, 92653.’ ” (Andrew Wisot)

Potato Heads: About 84% of adults say today’s teens are too lazy. “When teenagers were asked to respond, they refused because they’d have to get up off the couch.” (Premiere Radio)

In Quarter Time: The U.S. Army has spent $400,000 on a new washing machine that can wash 400 pounds of clothes in an hour. “Unfortunately, it takes 6,000 quarters to do one load.” (Premiere Radio)

We’ll Toast That: French scientists are conducting tests on rats to determine if Burgundy wine counteracts a high-fat diet. “They hope to find out which vintage to serve at this year’s American Bar Assn. banquet.” (Bob Mills)

Get With the Program: “Now that ‘Seinfeld’s’ history, Thursday nights are free to the millions of us who still don’t know how to program a VCR.” (Buzz Report)

Crafty Martha: President Clinton will have lunch with Martha Stewart in June to benefit Connecticut state Democrats. “Martha will show the president how to turn a ‘distinguishing physical characteristic’ into a colorful party favor.” (Bill Williams)

Cents-ibility: The 32-cent stamp will go up one penny later this year. “The Postal Service says the hike has nothing to do with delivery expenses. It’s the high price of ammunition.” (Argus Hamilton)

Hi-Fi Needy: A new study says 37% of Washington, D.C., is in desperate need of literacy. “And 97% are in desperate need of fidelity.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

Seeing Spots: Men are now drugstores’ biggest customers. “We have to remember to get Propecia for the bald spot, Ben Gay for the sore spot, Viagra for the soft spot and dog food for Spot.” (Hamilton)

A Leg Up: Hallmark has new greeting cards for dogs. “Only problem is, you have to lift one leg as you mail them.”(LaLa Land Letter)

Wasting Away: Shipments will soon begin to the first permanent tomb for atomic waste. “Recently the stuff has been stored on UPN.” (The Daily Scoop)

Squirm Term: President Clinton wrenched his back. “Hey, if you had to squirm as much as he does, you’d pull something, too.” (Chris Pina)

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.