LAUGH LINES

What’s Not to Like? According to a new study, fans of soap operas tend to be happy people. “Sure. They get to sit around all day watching TV.” (Premiere Radio)

Speaking of TV: The ratings for Oprah Winfrey’s show are down 20% from last year. Indeed, she is now behind both Jerry Springer and Judge Judy. “I don’t know if Oprah’s got us changing our lives, but she does have us changing channels.” (Premiere)

Road Worriers: A Texas Transportation Institute study has named Los Angeles roadways as the most congested in the nation. According to the study, the average motorist in L.A. spends 76 hours a year in traffic jams. “Upon hearing this, L.A. commuters immediately called their lawyers to see if they could get it reduced to 50 hours.” (Mark Wheeler)

And Speaking of Travel: Amtrak has announced that its ridership increased 4.5% last year. “Yep, from 22 passengers two years ago, it shot all the way up to 23 passengers last year.” (Jerry Perisho)

Back on the Streets: Actor Charlie Sheen has been released from rehab to a halfway home, where he has to spend time helping the Children of the Night foundation. “Isn’t helping young women of the night what got Charlie into trouble in the first place?” (W.T. Horn)

From the Sports Desk: Gloria Estefan and Stevie Wonder will be the Super Bowl halftime entertainment this year. “It’s fitting that Stevie is part of the show. We haven’t seen a good Super Bowl either.” (Premiere)

Wedding Belles: NBA bad boy Dennis Rodman married “Baywatch” actress Carmen Electra over the weekend. “The wedding dress was a beautiful white silk floor-length traditional number. No word yet on what the bride wore.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Listen to the Music: A couple of college professors in North Carolina assert that most slaves were “happy in captivity.” “I guess they haven’t heard the blues.” (Joe Kevany)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.