Apparently, Fonz Didn’t Do Homework

In the new film “The Waterboy,” actor Henry Winkler plays a football coach. He was quizzed by Comedy Central’s Craig Kilborn to name three football players who became actors.

“Howie Long,” Winkler said. “Joe . . . uh, Namath.” Unable to think of a third, he added: “John Elway.”

Kilborn: “John Elway’s not an actor.”

Winkler: “No, but I have high hopes for him.”

Among those he could have named: Jim Brown, Alex Karras, Rosey Grier, Fred Williamson, Fred Dryer, Dick Butkus, Bubba Smith, O.J. Simpson and Terry Bradshaw.

*

Trivia time: Which trophy is awarded to the winner of the UCLA-USC football game?

*

Hope it’s not a mini: Eric Turner, injured Oakland Raider safety and former UCLA player, wants to bet Darrell Russell, Raider defensive tackle and former USC player, on today’s game.

The loser would have to wear a skirt.

“That would be a sight,” Turner said of the 320-pound Russell in such garb. “I’d charge admission to that one.”

*

Yearning for the Worm: Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “Confusion over Dennis Rodman’s wedding was to be expected because it would not be immediately clear whether Rodman was the groom or the bride. At Rodman’s previous nuptials he was both.

“I miss Rodman, I must admit. I miss him more than basketball. . . .

“A day without M.J.’s crossover dribble may be incomplete, but a day without Dennis is like an overpass without graffiti.”

*

Table tennis next? No sport, it seems, is exempt from drug scandals. Now it’s badminton. Indonesia’s Budiarto Sigit, men’s world doubles champion, was suspended for 13 months after failing a drug test.

The International Badminton Federation said the 22-year-old Sigit tested positive for Nandrolone, a steroid, at the Konica Cup in Singapore in August.

*

Wait a minute: Pittsburgh Steeler Coach Bill Cowher, on the team’s all-pro center, Dermontti Dawson: “He is in a class of his own. He is, in my opinion, the best who has ever played that position.”

Wonder if Cowher can name every great center who played the game. Or even a few.

*

Looking back: On this day in 1970, UCLA routed USC, 45-20. The Trojans rebounded the next week, though, and upset previously unbeaten Notre Dame, 38-28.

*

Trivia answer: The Victory Bell. Since UCLA has won the last seven meetings, it’s probably gathering dust in some Bruin vault. Starting today, the winner also will receive the Jim Murray Trophy.

*

And finally: Keith Byars of the New York Jets blamed the team for failing to heed Coach Bill Parcells’ warning about the Indianapolis Colts before a 24-23 loss:

“If he tells you there’s cheese on top of the mountain,” said Byars, “you’d better bring crackers.”